Lacuna
by ateventide
Summary: Chaldea said it needed a Master & a young Tohsaka Rin made a wish
1. Wonderland

Disclaimer: I do not own any franchises

I had a long day at the office so random ideas popped into my head. These will probably be more like my random ideas and prep writing since I haven't planned about anything.

Warning: I don't know much about FGO - bits here and there so give some leeway please!I have watched Fate/Zero, FSN/UBW/LE/Apocrypha(for the most part)

Some OOC may occur!

* * *

"Servants?" Rin whispered to herself. Her blue green eyes got impossibly large in her small face as she looked more closely at the crowd of people who had gathered. They were all looking at the small magus curiously. No one knew where the young child with pigtails had come from. Though she was clearly magically inclined as her mana was practically radiating off of her in waves.

Tall, short, male, female, old, young and even some weird looking ones. Some were dressed in head to toe armor and some barely clothed all which normally would make her blush if she wasn't so excited. Rin almost smacked herself in the face in excitement. It had worked!

"Yes they are, we requested potential magus candidates to be Masters and you just appeared little one..." said a tall man with weird orange pink hair. But Rin had stopped listening already. Dozens and dozens of servants- she just needed to find the right one. Rin was downright giddy- she would definitely find who she needed. Rin was mentally cataloging who looked like what and who would benefit her cause the most.

Darting around the man who was talking she ran up to a nearby handsome blonde man with pretty eyes in silver battle armor. He didn't have a sword but Rin figured he was probably saving it. Father always said servants could summon weapons when needed.

"Are you a knight?" Rin exclaimed loudly drawing more curious stares. Her blue green eyes stared intently into his. He looked startled at first but then his eyes softened as the small child continued to look up at him. Her gaze was full of determination like so many young ones he had encountered in the past. He lowered himself onto a knee in order to be level with her. Her small hands twisting her red skirt anxiously.

"Yes, I am little one. Why?" Rin's hands suddenly splayed out against his armor.

"I need someone strong! Strongest in the world!" Rin's words carried hung in the air. Her words rang true and pure to the heroes that surrounded her- she really believed what she was saying. It could have been due to the fact that she was such a young girl. Not yet corrupted by the world but brimming so pleasantly with magic it almost felt like the air was humming. Gently, he put a armored hand over hers. "And tell me, why do you need someone strong?"

Rin opened her mouth to speak when she suddenly stopped- her entire being went still as if she suddenly remembered she was surrounded by strangers. As if she hadn't just appeared in a swirl of powerful magic. Her eyes drifted back to the handsome man holding her hand and then carefully pulled her hand back. She bowed her head as she shook slightly. Slowly, vertebrae by vertebrae she straightened up, head held high by sheer will and forced herself to walk away from the man who she thought could clearly help her.

"I apologize. For my manners- on behalf of my house." Rin steeled herself as the man seemed startled at her sudden change of demeanor and maybe just a touch sad. Rin's clenched her hands so hard that she thought she might draw blood as she calmly walked back to the weird orange pink haired man who first spoke to her.

"You said you needed a magus. I am Tohsaka Rin-head of the Tohsaka family. Protector of Fuyuki City. How can I be of service?"

* * *

Because I always need a touch of angst in there :)


	2. Candy Heart

Another really long day.

Happy Vday- Special Chapter. No Plot- just fluff :)

* * *

"Will you marry me?"

Rin immediately slapped her hands over her mouth as the words just fell out. She could literally feel her face turning different shades of pink and red. Obviously, it was unbecoming of the Tohsaka heir to say such things idly. She really couldn't help it. It really wasn't fair, if you asked her. He was just seriously so pretty. Though to be fair, a lot of heroes seemed to be really beautiful bordering ridiculous. But STILL.

As Rin was ruminating over her lack of elegance in her head, the Knight of Fianna known as Diarmuid Ua Duibhne was trying to stop the snickering that was being directed towards him from all directions. He groaned inwardly when he heard the distant bellow of various objections followed by the sounds of tackling. He was sure he would never hear the end of this. It wasn't as if he wasn't use to females throwing themselves at him. Ever since he was cursed with the love spot. Though he didn't think someone ever so young had confessed to him.

Rin swore she was going to faint when she looked at him. Seriously. Unfair. This was completely mortifying- what would the future Mr. Tohsaka Rin think of her? Just blurting things out in public like that. Literally having just met. She was seriously an idiot. And she knew she was staring. Like an idiot.

"Ah, I'm sorry fair maiden. I fear I am too old for your young heart." It more than a full minute to process the words that he had just had. And then she just stood there. Her face no longer red and her eyes becoming increasingly serious. After what seemed like an eternity to Diarmuid, Rin finally removed her hands over her mouth and pointed.

"Did you know that you have a curse on your face?" He blinked at her before sighing.

" Alas, oh yes, I was cursed by a young lady in my past. I fear it may have affected you- that you may not know what you speak of."

Rin stared at him for a few more moments with such seriousness that it made him just a touch nervous; before slowly shaking her head. Raising up her arm she pulled back the sleeve of the white uniform that they had asked her to wear. Apparently they had to magically shrink one to fit her. Holding up her left arm she showed him her magical crest- green lines just barely visible.

"I think if it was supposed to work on me, my crest would be trying to repel it? It would be glowing. It's protects me." Rin was already backing away as she said the words.

Diarmuid could see small tears forming in her eyes. He opened his mouth to speak but was cut off as Rin turned and ran away. He did feel bad. Really bad but he wasn't sure he could explain so that would make her feel okay. Behind him the crowd dispersed though more than a few were giving him dirty looks. It wasn't like it was even his fault! Honestly, what was he supposed to do! Hanging his head, he just knew Atalanta was surely going to try to kill him for hurting her new charge's feeling. And after her, he was certain a few heroes would likely follow.

A light touch on his arm, made him look back up. Caster Semiramis sauntered past him flashing him a smile that was all teeth.

"Tsk Tsk, breaking such a young heart. Your love spot makes _women _fall in love with you. Rin's a little girl. Different rules. I fear, she really meant it. Oh my." Her long black hair swished behind her. "...such wonderful potential I see in her!"

* * *

Poor Rin!

Would Rin's crest try to ward off the curse? Who knows! Believe in fluffy magic!


	3. Kitty

Onto our scheduled program

So we're back tracking a little bit before the Vday chapter b/c I felt this was too fluffy not too. I'm not too pleased with parts of this chapter but didn't know how i'd write some parts in without dragging too much.

I really only have a vague idea the direction this will go.

Enjoy and stay tuned!

* * *

Rin carefully wrote neat notes in the notebook they had given her. Taking extra care to make notations as Dr. Romani talked. It has been a whirlwind since Rin had introduced herself. Apparently her sudden appearance had left everyone in such a disarray. Though to be honest, Rin had never expected to find herself here. After one, one doesn't ever really expect their wishes to come true at least not through conventional means. But magic was full of wonder and mystery. Her mother always did like mysterious things. Frowning, Rin pushed the thought out of her head. It was no use to waste feelings and especially tears over such things.

What would her father say?

Most likely that a Tohsaka should always act in accordance to their heritage. But he wasn't around anymore. No one was except that stupid priest. Idly, Rin wondered if the false priest was freaking out that he lost his charge. Or more likely, no one had even noticed she as gone. Afterall she was just an orphan now. Her parents were dead and gone but she was alive. She was the head of the family and now her word was law. She would change her history- even if it killed her. Rin's face crinkled when the pencil snapped in half. Dr. Romani stopped in his lecture to turn and look at her. Plastering a classic good girl smile she used at school- she focused her mana to fix it. When she looked back up at him- his face was in awe. Rolling her eyes she urged him to continue his lecture. Afterall, she needed all the information she could get to formulate a plan.

Swinging her short legs back and forth, she make another notation as the orange pink haired man used a pointer to indicate her purpose in all this. Frowning Rin made another notation regarding singularities. If she hadn't been concentrating so hard she would have noticed that her crest had flared up- almost wrapping around her entirely before settling down.

* * *

"MOVE" A tall tan man with grey eyes dressed in red unceremoniously shoved a man with red eyes in a blue body suit aside. Beside him was the female version of theKing of Knights who sidestepped the rolling body known as Cu Culhain or the Light of the Irish.

Peering into the classroom, the heroic spirit/counter guardian known as EMIYA felt his heart drop. There she was. Even younger, he would know who she was. With dark pigtails held up with black ribbons and dressed in the white and black uniform that Chaldea used to identify Masters.

"...Rin" EMIYA suddenly yelped as he was pushed aside as the King of Knights otherwise known as Arturia Pendragon tiptoed to look. She stood for a moment before turning to him. Her green eyes regarded him seriously.

"...Rin was quite cute as a child."

"YO, is that really her?" The lancer version known as Cu Chulaiin draped an arm around Saber who promptly shrugged it off. "Cute little thing isn't she?"

"It can't be. It's not possible. I know for a fact Rin never came here…"

A voice behind them cleared their throat loudly.

The three heroes froze to see the Director Olga standing there looking quite disgruntled with Gilgamesh standing off to the side who was scowling widely.

"If you all follow me NOW. The others are already waiting for us in my office."

* * *

As the the lecture wrapped up, Rin politely thanked the doctor before tucking the notebook under her shoulder. She bid him goodbye as she opened the door and blinked.

"Uh..Hello?"

Like everywhere else she went there was normally a crowd of heroes whenever she turned around. Apparently she was interesting. Though it did give her a good chance to make notes on what hero would suit her cause. She knew the qualities she wanted- Strong, loyal and powerful but that was a lot of heroes. No she needed more. No, she needed someone who would understand. Someone who would follow her to the edge of hell and back.

Tilting her head, her gaze went wide at the hero hovering closest nearby. With green blonde hair and large animal ears. Rin could see a tail peeking out. Involuntarily, Rin was already reaching out to touch her. Was it even possible?

"Kitty"

The heroine in turn seemed to melt at the sight of Rin and immediately scooped her up. Rin squeaked at the sudden movement but looking into those green eyes she smiled. Her small hands pet the ears gently. So soft and pretty! The heroine purred into Rin's ears telling her that her name was Atalanta. Rin didn't even notice when they turned and Atalanta announced to all who gathered and exclaimed loudly.

"..I'm going to raise this child!"

* * *

Based on a comic I saw on reddit with a child Achilles, Adult Chiron and Atalanta.

These chapters will probably continue to be short.


	4. Feelings

This chapter is on the sadder/angst side

Don't worry fluffier times still ahead.

* * *

"Rin, this is Karna"

Rin looked up with wide eyes at the man with paper white skin and with matching hair. His pale green eyes trimmed with red underneath. Sticking out a small hand she waited as he stared at her. Slowly, he shook her hand. Rin gave him a bright smile- she had heard he was a Sun God or something similar. Definitely someone to make friends with.

As they were told days earlier by the director herself, there was a glitch in systems and missions were halted until further notice. Rin had tried to inquire about other potential masters- as they would surely compete against her for the best servants. But was quickly rebuked and brushed off. Rin had frowned as the director practically leapt at the chance to get away- if you asked her. Strange. Very strange. Rin made a mental note to get to the bottom of it.

However all that meant, they were left to their own devices. So, Atalanta had announced that morning that she was going to take Rin out to introduce her to various heroes. Though Atalanta had mentioned in passing that she should avoid some. Unrespectable ones she hastily explained. Which Rin made another mental note to look into. So, like a proud momma cat, Atalanta had brushed and fussed over her making sure Rin looked absolutely adorable. With the killer combo of charm and cuteness- Rin was sure to melt even the steadfast of hearts. And Rin absolutely determined to get as many heroes on her side as possible.

It certainly seemed luck was on her side. Atalanta had practically begged Rin to let her take care of her. And with Atalanta came Achilles who was easy going and instantly took to her. Chiron would even pop up once in a while to give tips on raising a child. Not that Rin needed raising. She was perfectly fine on her own. Though Rin would deny it until her dying day, a little piece of heart was happy as Atalanta watched over her. But rationally, Rin knew all this would only serve her cause. Shaking her head of the thoughts, Rin turned to grab Karna's hand and turn on the charm. Atalanta spoke again but the world had already slowed to a standstill for Rin.

For out the corner of her eye, Rin caught the sight of purple hair.

No…

Could it be?

No…

BUT!

Rin had found a way.

SO!

Maybe...Just maybe!

Atalanta had kept walking with Karna but Rin stood rooted to the floor. She felt her heart skip a beat when caught a glimpse of violet eyes. Swearing, Rin broke out into a run. Twisting and dodging heroic spirits left and right- through hallways she never went through following the glimpse of purple hair.

"SAKURA!"

Rin finally caught up by slamming into slim legs. Reeling from the collision, Rin looked up blindly. Someone gently picked her up and set her on her feet. Rin's hands were already reaching forward. But she knew. From the moment she had said her name aloud- that this wasn't her sister. She had glasses. She was too tall. Too old.

"Ah, I'm sorry. My name isn't Sakura- It's Mash. Were you looking for her?" Mash bent down to Rin. Lilac hair and eyes. Glasses. It certainly was not her sister. But looking into those lilac eyes- Rin thought she saw something similar to her sister in them. Rin's hands gently reached out to cradle Mash's face.

"Did they hurt you too?" Rin whispered gently as she ran a small hand through the purple strands. It reminded her so much of Sakura. With those eyes, Rin could almost imagine this was a grown up Sakura. Almost. Mash had stiffened under her hands at her words but Rin didn't notice for she was lost again in her thoughts. "...Just wait for me."

When Rin's eyes refocused- Mash's eyes were teary. Rin looked up as she was pulled away gently and found pale hands on her shoulders. Following the hands, she looked up to see Karna. He didn't smile or frown but titled his head. His pale green eyes seemed to look at her differently. Then something else flashed in his eyes that Rin didn't understand. Rin looked back at the knights who stood by Mash. Their expressions were ranged from concerned to unreadable.

"Atalanta worries. Let us return." With that he gently picked up Rin in his arms and carried her away. Mash stood there watching as Rin's arms wrapped around Karna's neck.

* * *

Overall, I didn't actually mean for Atalanta to take a large role but I ended up liking it!


	5. Snack Time

Sorry this chapter is late! I've been super sick and unable to move

Onwards!

* * *

What do you MEAN she didn't like it?" EMIYA was sure he was going to break something. Pinching the bridge of his nose, he opened one eye as Atalanta stood there holding an almost full bento box. One he had took extra care and love to make. For Rin. That was almost untouched. EMIYA frowned- as he glanced at the clock. Did that mean she didn't eat?

"I know for a FACT she does!"

She rolled her green eyes at him "Yes, maybe when she was 17 but right now she's a kid!"

EMIYA gripped the spatula he was holding so tightly he considered briefly about transforming it into a sword. "I'm telling you that it's one of her favorite meals!"

Raising an eyebrow, Atalanta smirked "...Just not right now!"

Saber Arturia popped up suddenly behind her and grabbed the box. "I fear she raises a valid point. Rin's tastes at a younger age would surely differ from when you meet her. Do not fear. I will finish this on her behalf!" Her mouth already half full.

Taking a calming breath, for EMIYA was sure he was going to go insane. It was bad enough that Atalanta was practically raising Rin. Which was entirely upsetting- if you asked him. Clearly he was the best candidate. It really wasn't fair. He knew Rin best. He should be able to take care of her. He argued that he took care of her in the future- a lot of futures! So clearly, he was the most fit to care for her now.

You know if he could get within any respectable feet of Rin without things randomly exploding or catching on fire or her mana going crazy every time he got near her. He had originally scoffed at the explanation regarding the time-space continuum anomalies and all around badness that the Director had fed them in her office but it kept happening. And again and again- until Atalanta declared barring life or death he was not to go near Rin. It took all this willpower and a few heroes to stop him from going to Rin after the incident with Mash. Mash had been extremely quiet when he explained who Sakura was. Rin needed him and he couldn't even get near her. What kind of punishment was this?!

Even with everything, there had been a chance he could accept things for now. Though CLEARLY he would have to keep havings talks to Atalanta about Rin's care.

Saber had just about the same luck as he did going near Rin. The Gilgamesh's had scoffed and said it was beneath him to try. Rider and the other servants from the 5th war had just slinked away slowly. He hadn't even seen the two goddess's since the meeting. They had been uncharacteristically absent. Their presence sporadic even with other heroes since that time. Various versions of Cu Chulainn also had bad results when trying to get into a somewhat close proximity- but then-

BUT THEN- the Berserker version tried.

Without any problems. In fact, Berserker now slept outside her bedroom in his smaller size.

SERIOUSLY?!

"Rin has a request for snack time" Berserker said solemnly as he slithered in. He had returned to his normal size again. It was the only way he could carry the tray back. He waited patiently. EMIYA scowled.

"Why does he get to go near her! She's met Cu Chulainn before!" he complained loudly as he turned to the kitchen.

Berserker shrugged. Atalanta raised at eyebrow as she spoke.

"...For some reason she thought he was a dog." Looking up at Berserker she paused. "She did said you barked." To which Berserker nodded before speaking.

"Rin wishes to participate with the other King of Knights and some of his knights at their tea time."

"Are you KIDDING ME?! HIM TOO?!" He banged his head against a wall. Arturia and Atalanta were already discussing how interesting it was that Arthur and the knights had no problem. How very odd!

"However, she would like a hot chocolate just in case." Berserker said his tail swishing. Defeated EMIYA turned to the kitchen. He really could not win. How was it possible he still had such bad luck even now! He ignored the heroes talking and pondered about how clearly the universe was against him.

Berserker frowned as EMIYA handed him a tray. Looking into EMIYA's exasperated face, he titled his head.

"WHAT NOW?" EMIYA bellowed.

"Rin likes marshmallows in her hot chocolate" Berserker said smirking.

"ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"

* * *

So I know some may be disappointed in EMIYA and the 5th HG crew not being able to go near teeny Rin. But I thought i'd give Rin a chance to interact with other heroes and ofc poor EMIYA to go nuts not being able to swoop in.

Muhahaa


	6. Snow

Early chapter because life and daylight savings!

* * *

"Senpai, don't run too fast!"

Rin threw a smile over her shoulder as Mash shouted after her. Rin breathed in the cold air as she looked over the snowy landscape. Even though, she had been told the the building was located in Antarctica she didn't believe it. I mean, ANTARCTICA! Luckily, it seemed Chaldea has it own magnetic field which only interested Rin more. Plus all the ambient magic in the air made her skin tingle pleasantly.

Rin didn't know how they found a coat her size not that it really mattered since Atalanta had gotten Da Vinci to cast a heating spell on her for a short time. Rin was honestly surprised that she was in Chaldea but she supposed weirder things happened(more so that he was actually a GIRL). Atlanta had requested a timer on the spell just long enough to play outside and be back in time for snack time. But even more surprising was that when she got outside, there huge snow castles. And thus a snowball fight/capture the flag game had begun.

Grinning, Rin ducked a snowball that Jack threw her way before darting behind Arthur's leg. He graced her with a handsome smile that made Rin blush before she sprinted away as Lancelot's sneak attack rained down on them. Bedivere had a look of concern as she ran off. She waved at Nursery Rhyme who was building a snowman with a small blonde boy with red eyes. Who felt vaguely familiar in a way Rin couldn't quite put her finger on. Rin paused to take a closer look but had to mad dash for cover as a snowball narrowly missed her head. Rin could hear Atalanta yelling at someone in the distance. All in all Rin couldn't remember the last time she had this much fun. Snow wasn't uncommon in Japan but it was never like this.

Something moved. Well everyone was moving around her in a frenzy of a laughter and taunts but it was more than that.

Something stirred.

Rin turned.

She could hear the sounds of the snowball fight fading in her ears. Her eyes focused on the snowy expanse before her. There was something. Something that spoke in the dark. Brushing up against her skin. Her feet guided her further and further away until all she heard was silence. Even with the heating spell, she felt a chill crawl up her spine as she watched the fog creep across her feet.

Something moved; brushing against her skin.

A Shadow loomed over her.

Slowly, her eyes trailed up, over dark clawed feet, over a huge sword streaked with dull red marks, over dark armor and cloak, until finally- they met a bright blue stare in the face of a framed skull. For a moment time stilled, Blue eyes on blue eyes.

"Hello."

Rin should have felt fear but she didn't for her mind was racing.

Could it be?

The one she had been searching for?

"You stray far from thy keepers, young contractor." His voice was deep and earthy. In a way that reminded her of her deceased father. Rin felt another chill run down her spine. It wasn't something she could explain. Just a feeling deep in her bones. Like from something she had always known but never yet seen. At least for now.

"I know what you are. Strong. The first. For you- the bells toll." she said softly.

Rin craned her neck up as high as possible- staring back into those bright blue eyes. Rin though perhaps she should say something more. But she couldn't form the words. She just stood there looking. She didn't notice the mana rising from her left arm or fact that the snow nearby seemed to be trying to catch on fire only to extinguish itself. Mixture of fog, mana and smoke swirled around them.

"...Hasn't thou heard it?"

Rin suddenly looked down at her hands- a burning sensation ran through her hands; her mana was spilling out; again. Her mana seemed to be out of whack as of late. It seemed to be happening more and more lately. More so than when even she was being taught the basics. Making a fist, she consciously forced the mana back down- ignoring the pain the seared through her. Taking a moment to catch her breath, she spoke.

"No. Not for me." She raised her eyes to look back into his. "Not yet."

Silence again. An eternity seemed to pass as she stood there surrounded by snow and fog. Shadows danced around them. Slowly and almost hesitant, a clawed armored glove gestured towards her, blinking Rin wrapped a gloved hand around a finger.

"Cometh along, contractor, your keepers await."

* * *

Some notes!

The mana and snow trying to catch on fire was EMIYA/Saber not liking how things looked for small Rin from their POV.

Gramps + Rin = adorbs

and yes- I want to write a KidGil, Arthur + Bedivere centric chapter somewhat planned(don't hold me to it)


	7. Luck Of The

Happy Early St. Pattys Day :)

* * *

She was avoiding him.

Or at least that's how it felt. Not that it bothered him. Nope not one bit. For a knight had more pride than that. But he had lost his pride so many years ago. So, nope it didn't bother Diarmuid Ua Duibhne- a knight of Fionna; that the one master in all of Chaldea and young maiden who had confessed to him basically ran away every time they were in close proximity. To be more accurate, when she encountered him, she greeted him and promptly hid herself behind whatever hero that happened to be with her- which was pretty much always.

Of course he would never force the young magus into a conversation but it was becoming clear that favorites were rising. That meant, when mission's did resume; she'd mostly like contract with them. Perhaps it was selfish, to think that Chaldea would be another chance to serve a master to his fullest. A master who might be worthy. On the rare occasion that Rin had been able to speak a semi-decent conversation he practically fell over when she said that her father had been a Lord but since his passing she was now the head of her house. So in a way, she was a Lord too? Rin had mused aloud because being a lady was no fun in her opinion. His chivalry and pride of a knight was practically weeping inside as she pondered.

He knew the other celtic Lancer, Cu Chulainn was depressed that he couldn't get near Rin and even more pissed that Berserker could. Scáthach had been particularly brutal in her comments to the celtic hero. Apparently, Scáthach- had particular wisdom she wanted to bestow to Rin. Rin immediately declared that Scáthach was awesome in every possible way. Heavens only knew what they talked about.

Sighing, he made his way to the cafeteria- where he could surely get a drink. While he would certainly NOT sit whining about his issues all day like certain other celtic heroes, he could enjoy a moment of wallowing. He wondered idly if Rin had been magically cursed or blessed to cause heroes to endear themselves to her so well.

"HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY!" Rin popped out to stand before him before him decked out in a dark green dress that mirrored his normal coloring in attire. Her normally twin tailed hair brushed loose and straight. Blue eyes seeming larger and brighter against the color. She grinned up at him widely as she held up a tray of cupcakes. Scáthach stood behind her, her expression neutral as she patted Rin on the head.

"It's sort of a modern holiday during my time but I thought it'd be nice to celebrate anyways! I made them with Atalanta!" Rin said cheerfully with a light blush already dusting across her cheeks.

For a moment, he as at a loss for words. Obviously, Rin did not have any celtic blood in her but it was endearing. Though he wondered why Berserker and particularly Scáthach had not stressed the finer points of their celtic heritage to her. It was more entirely possible, that perhaps Berserker had tried but fell weak under the girls will. For it certainly seemed, Berserker had found someone he preferred above everyone else. He had no reason for Scáthach. This change in behavior must have been due to her. Not that it had bothered him. Behind Rin, Scáthach raised an eyebrow as she gestured to a waiting Rin as other heroes slinked in behind her. Such a odd group of heroes, the young master had collected.

"It is always good to celebrate with friends." Diarmuid said solemnly as he took a cupcake. Clearly, this was the correct response as Rin's smile grew impossibly wider. Putting the tray on a nearby table, Rin attached herself to him as she asked him to tell her tales of being a knight. It caught him off caught since she was fast friends with Arthur and his knights (for they always seemed to putter about her all the time). Surely, they told her wondrous tales. As Rin, looked up at him with bright eyes- he smiled which made her promptly blush even harder.

Yes, what pride he would have to serve such a master.

* * *

Aww


	8. Sick Time

Atalanta shifted her feet nervously as EMIYA slammed various cabinets loudly. She sighed softly as she hear the loud clanging of pots. No doubt about it- he was really upset. It wasn't it like it was her fault. At least not fully.

"...Atalanta. I have heard that Rin is still ill." She turned and there stood Saber Arturia- looking quite serious. Glancing back at EMIYA who was making supposed to be making soup for Rin she pulled Saber a bit farther away.

"Yes, but children get sick all the time. She should get better in no time" Atalanta whispered.

"Are you sure? My counterpart has informed me, Rin has not gotten better in several days. He and I agree it is most worrisome. I have seen illness take many young lives in my time." Saber said solemnly.

The other King Arthur and Bedivere has taken quite a liking to young Rin. Saber wondered if it reminded Bedivere of when he use to take care of her. And for Arthur it seemed natural that he bonded with her. Which of course pissed EMIYA off since they tended to hover over Rin more often than not. If EMIYA had an irrational fear that about Atalanta replacing him; the combination of Arthur and Bedivere certainly blew everyone out of the water. They were completely enamored with her. So, it caused quite a stir when Rin had passed out during their tea time. Arthur had immediately rushed Rin to the infirmary with the Knights trailing behind him. It was hard enough not being able to get near Rin- for they had been friends in so many lifetimes but Rin to be weak and incapacitated in such a manner frame was truly unconscionable.

"Don't worry Saber. It's just the flu. Rin will get better. EVENTUALLY" said EMIYA was he came out with a finished tray of soup. He shot Atalanta a dirty look as she took it from him.

Atalanta refrained from sighing again. There was no words in heaven and earth and all the multiverses combined that would convince EMIYA that it wasn't her fault. Rin liked going outside to play and stayed out past the heat spells and caught a cold. Well the flu. She should have made Rin go back inside but how could you say no when Rin used the puppy dog eyes on you? It was unexpected since apparently Rin was never sick a day in her life when he met her. And now she was here in Chaldea. Young and small. Sick and feverish.

"Who's with her right now?" Atalanta blinked up at EMIYA. His face was etched with concern. She decided not to mention that Arthur and Bedivere had basically sworn absolute fealty to Rin in her time of need. Atalanta knew that it was hard for him. Especially since he couldn't go near Rin. She had saved his life in so many ways that it must be unbearable to be so close and yet so very far. She made a note to try to tease him less about Rin.

"She'll be fine. She has around the clock heroes watching over her." Atalanta said turning. She flashed a smile at Arturia who was also frowning. "Don't worry. I'll let you know the minute she feels better. Besides Berserker is being protective. He's cuddling up to her every chance he gets and practically bites anyone who gets near her. " Rin certainly thought he was a dog in her feverish state. He certainly didn't seem to mind when Rin held him close and called him puppy. Though she was probably remembering an actual dog from her childhood. She hurried away before EMIYA could piece together out that it meant that Berserker was basically sleeping in Rin's bed while she was sick- in his miniature size; of course.

"WAIT WHATTTTTT?!"

* * *

..I've been wondering if I should try to write more and post more often but life gets in the way so much. I'll think about it!


	9. In Bloom

Argh. SO tired today

..I waited 3 hrs to sit on the Iron Throne(in NYC)! Sadly my reign was very brief.

* * *

"Hi Master!"

Rin blinked as a purple flower was shoved into her face. Rin had just finished tea time with Arthur and the knights. Normally, it would be a fun and interesting time filled with stories and laughter but it was the first time since Rin had passed out and they kept watching her. Every slight movement, blink and breath was measured and discussed- heavens forbid when she coughed slightly which caused Bedivere to immediately gather her in his arms in panic. When she looked into his eyes- she saw something she didn't understand. She supposed it was scary for them but it's not like she was going to break.

Tilting her head she looked around the flower she looked into red eyes. Blonde hair and red eyes. It took more than a moment to figure out why he seemed so familiar. It was the boy she saw playing with Nursery that day she met King Hassan! But he wasn't just a boy. Like how was Jack wasn't just a girl(what an understatement). They were servants. She wondered briefly how life must have taken such a turn for such young heroes to end up here. Eventually realizing that he was still holding the flower- she reached out and took it.

"Thank You"

Rin suddenly felt really shy. Even at her young age, she had boys are school confessing to her but she had better things to do than have a boyfriend. Mage craft always came first. It was something ingrained into her since birth. The path of a magus was hard and lonely. Only the strong could become a truly talented magus.

But looking into those red eyes- she felt odd. Like he was a part of memory she couldn't remember having. But he just continued to smile at her. Rin coughed and tugged at her hair. Rin wondered if maybe she was still sick. She had gotten over the flu but everyone was treating her with such a wide berth of concern-maybe they had a reason to be. He smiled even more brightly at her before grabbing her hand.

"Feel free to call me Gil! I've heard so much about you! I've been trying to meet you in so long! It's been so boring before you came!" Rin could barely keep up as he pulled her along. She didn't know where he was taking her. "You have so many servants around you all the time! It's so hard to talk to you!"

Finally, he threw a door- presumably his room. Her eyes widened as they entered what looked to be a throne room? Well there was a throne with stairs leading up to it but there was a rug with fluffy pillows and food at the bottom. How did he get that in here? A million thoughts ran through her head. Spell? Illusion? Trap? Why did she get a regular apartment with Atalanta if this was an option?

Just what kind of hero was he?

Rin's stomach growled in hunger as she had been so nervous at tea time with everyone watching her. Here too, Rin was completely out of her element- though she tried her best to hide it. It was surprising to say that least that they even got this far alone, between Atalanta, Berserker, Arthur and Bedivere she was fussed over almost from the time she woke up till she went to bed. Most of the time she secretly loved it but sometimes it felt like she couldn't breathe. But in the end she knew she needed to relish the experience. Being here in this sort of time and place wasn't where she was supposed to be; she had a life in another time and place. With someone else who was waiting for her.

Gil turned and smiled at her again. "You look so lively today Master! I'd like to hear more about you. I'm really interested." His gaze was friendly and direct. He was looking at her with such intensity. She really didn't know what to make of it. Blue eyes met red eyes. It suddenly occurred to her that maybe he wanted a reason. To contract with her. A reason to believe. A reason to stay- with her. Possible forever with the way he was looking at her.

Rin blushed and looked away.

"Ah, well you can call me Rin."

* * *

This is really short- I might post another chapter next week. An no idea how Gil pulled off the mini throne room but whatcha gonna dooooo(smooth kid isn't he?)..an little Rin and Kid Gil is adorbs. I basically watched some of his room lines on youtube and used them.

Also since Rin is still young- she basically dorms with Atalanta in a apartment style complex.


	10. Puppy

I'm trying to get a good mix of fluff/more serious chapter balance..

* * *

Many heroes found it odd. Though if you asked him, it was really more common than you'd think. It all came down to one thing really. Or more specifically it came down to the Master. For, it took a certain type of person that could tame a Berserker. Well, tame not being the right word. You never really could do that- not even with all the magic in the world.

Originally, it was a curiosity from the Lancer version. Who lamented so very loudly that his ideal master had shown up albeit much younger than he preferred- just to be unable to get near her. Enough to make the other versions of him to see what the fuss was all about. Who knew Cu Cuchulain could be summoned in so many different class, honestly. They had such disastrous results that Atalanta basically banned them from trying again.

But he was different.

He was actually pleasantly surprised for once when he went up to her and nothing exploded or caught on fire(as with the others). Turning, her blue eyes regarded him for a long time. As if she was trying to place something that was just beyond her grasp. A memory that hadn't happened yet. With a version of him she hadn't encountered.

"Puppy?"

Ah, what a thing to say!

Luckily for him, no one else was around which was nothing short of a miracle in itself. What endless teasing he would have to endure. Chaldea was all up in arms over the small master. Apparently it was nothing short of taboo to have such a young child in their employ. Morals and what not. As if silly things like morals mattered to magicians when it came to the hard choices. No, the magi played by their own rules. Suiting themselves to their own needs and desires. Not that it mattered to him. Such things were trifles.

He had not originally wanted to approach her in his smaller size but apparently the constant nagging of other versions had gotten to him. His other form would "scare" her they said. Though, he doubted they thought he could even get close. I mean, he was a Berserker. How could he ever succeed when they failed. Well at least this way, she could see him better. While other heroes may have liked her because she was young or cute; Berserker was different. Sure, he supposed she could be called "cute" but it was more than that. He knew others like him could feel it. The Berserker class had a touch of something extra.

For underneath everything, just sitting there. Under the blue eyes and twin tails- it was there. Flowing and strong. Magic and blood lust. Which was just so very odd in his opinion- especially in a child. Particularly in a human child. Which made her at the very least mildly interesting. But as he spent more time in her company- she definitely had something extra mixed in her. Something he hadn't felt in a master in a long time. He could feel it every time her mana flared up. Someone who would truly be a force to be reckoned with- given time. A person with a true destiny. It really took a certain type of person to tame a Berserker. Really, it wasn't odd that he decided that he might want to stick around. If not just to see what type of future she would shape with her hands.

So, in the end Berserker said the only thing he felt he really could.

"Woof"

* * *

...couldn't ask for a better puppy!


	11. My Fair Knight

Yay for fluff

* * *

A crinkle creased in Rin's forehead as she frowned in concentration. For her task was important. Very important. It was something that she felt required all her effort. Her utmost focus and dedication. And as a proud magus she would surely not fail. As the heir to the Tohsaka family. On her pride and honor nothing short of best would do!

"Is everything alright, milady?"

Rin immediately shook herself out of her thoughts as she leaned forward from her spot.

"Bedivere, I said stay stillll!"

Though she couldn't see his face, she was sure he was smiling. So it was probably best that she was behind him since Bedivere was very very pretty. It had taken forever to get up the courage to ask him to let her play with his hair. But she just couldn't help wanting to! And the words kept falling out her mouth explaining why. Seriously, he was ridiculously pretty- like how she pictured wood elf to be; save for the ears. Which she had already checked. Normal looking she said to herself slightly disappointed. He was obviously surprised at her but nonetheless relinquished to her request.

The white gold strands of his hair was literally the softest thing she had ever felt in her life. Albeit she hadn't lived super long. But seriously it was just so awesomely soft that she wondered if this was due to magic. Sighing, she wondered if he used anything special to get his hair this soft.

Now what to do? Originally she had just wanted to braid it but no it that wasn't special enough. Maybe she could weave some flowers in it? She wondered idly if wavy hair would look great on him. Probably given his features. After considering for a moment, she figured what she wanted to do. Slowly, her small hands work began to work. Time passed but Rin did not acknowledge it for her task was of utmost importance! What if he never let her do this again?

Eventually, after she was done Rin walked around to look at her work. Pleased, she squealed despite herself. Bedivere looked awesome! He gave her a slight smile as his eyes looked past her. Glancing behind her, she noticed Arthur and the rest of knights in the doorway. She had asked Bedivere after their normal tea time and ushered all the other knights out saying she needed time. Running over she grabbed Arthur's hand before dragging him to Bedivere.

"Doesn't he looked so pretty?! Ah! I'm so jealous!" Rin exclaimed.

"I can't believe she talked you into this." said Gawain who was laughing. Rin shot him a dirty look as she clamored into Bedivere's lap. She looked into his bright green eyes and put her palms to his face turning it to either side to admire her handiwork. Intricate braids criss crossed over and over. Though she made a point to let some of his fine light hair flow free. Her nose scrunched up as she wondered how it was possible that he was even more handsome like this. Also if somehow she could get her hands on a camera and someone else to work for she had no luck with such things; so she could remember it forever.

Bedivere simply smiled down at Rin before back at Gawain.

"Tis, a knight duty to honor a lady's most ardent request"

Rin blushed deeply before smushing his cheeks with her hands. He really was the perfect knight in her opinion. Handsome and always so thoughtful. He always made it a point to make sure she felt and cared for. Though sometimes when he looked at her, he got this look in his eye. Like how her mother used to get. A shadow of regret. Maybe he was trying to fix something too.

Turning her head, Rin stuck her tongue out at Gawain.

"..It's not my fault he's prettier than you!"

* * *

..just so very pretty.

I imagined Rin to have braided a very Dany-eqsue hair style from GOT. All the complicated braids and what not.


	12. Dragon

...Wrote this on a whim for pacing purposes.

* * *

"OOF"

Rin bit her lip to stop from cursing as she fell back. She really needed to learn how to keep track of time. It wasn't even her fault! Looking up, Rin looked into green eyes against lightly tanned skin. Surrounded by white hair.

"Ah, Siegfried! I'm sorry! I wasn't watching where I was going!" Rin's eyes widened in embarrassment.

This seemed to be becoming a habit, reminiscent of their first encounter. She had literally run into him. She had bounced hard off his knees. All the silver armor was protective and painful. Even though it had been her fault, he was so concerned that she rolled her eyes at him. Honestly, she was a kid and prone to bruises and scrapes. Even her. It wasn't like she was going to die. While his concern like almost Bedivere like(though much much calmer)- at least Bedivere didn't keep saying he was sorry.

Giving a bright smile, Rin took the large hand he offered. It was warm. His presence was always so soothing. She didn't know why. When she looked at him, the tanned skin and white hair it made her feel weird. Like a pain in her chest. Not the same type of heartache when she thought of Sakura. And not the fluttering beats she felt when she looked at Diarmuid. But she wasn't sure what it really meant. She had tried to ask Atalanta about it but in the end it was a more of a "You'll understand when you're older" type thing.

Trying to get some understanding. Rin had sought him out a few times. If nothing else to make sure it was a fluke. I mean, she did have other reasons. Slaying a dragon was pretty cool; after all. He liked to listen to her talk. Though sometimes she just rambled incessantly. Each time he did speak though it was a little bit more which was all she could really hope for. I mean not every hero was going to fall at her feet. While many heroes were eager to share their stories, Siegfried was different. In a way he was like Karna. Behind the legend and strength, there was a vulnerability. While all the heroes had regrets and wishes, some seemed to have died with the deepest wounds to the soul. Unable to fix it and unable to move forward. Siegfried had that kind of sadness or at least it felt like it.

Her blue eyes looked up into his before saying softly "...would you walk me back to my room? Atalanta should be waiting for me"

This seemed to placate whatever apprehension he had for they started walking. Her small hand still in his. Rin opened her mouth to speak but as she glanced up at him, she decided against it. Small talk didn't really work with him.

He was always so serious that Rin was actually concerned. I mean, what a way to spend your afterlife- sorta. There was one thing he liked to do. He always left her with a question before parting. She guessed it was his way of figuring her out. Though he seemed to ask really deep soul searching questions. Asking her to think it over and tell him her answer the next time they encountered each other. And today's answer seemed especially important to him. When he had asked it the last time she literally ran into him. He asked with such hesitation that Rin knew he would take her answer straight to his heart. For whatever reason. Like her answer might somehow hurt him. I mean how could she possibly hurt him? He was just so hard to figure out. Maybe it was one of those "..you'll understand when you're older" stuff.

Rin was silent as they walked hand in hand; thinking. Siegfried was always good at giving her space to think. As they neared her room, she paused before going in. She knew Berserker was probably waiting just behind the door. She shifted her feet before carefully saying her answer.

"...Honestly, I'm not sure what a hero of justice really means. I want to believe that good always wins out and the bad people get punished. But I know that's not true. Some things just fall apart. And sometimes there's no justice in the world..." Rin looked down at her hands thinking back to before she suddenly dropped into Chaldea. About how very selfish and how very weak she was. "...Not unless we make it."

* * *

..bit serious this time around. Fluff next chapter!

This might be OOC for Siegfried but I thought it fit? I based most of this off his Wiki.

..and those future heart twinges.

GOT Reference!

Also yes, Alter Cu is patiently waiting for his small human to return!(hope that imaginary made you smile)


	13. Limits

..I enjoyed writing this chapter

* * *

"..You know she's pretty right? Like really pretty!" Kid Gil exclaimed loudly.

EMIYA really didn't know how things this like kept happening. It was mind baffling. Seriously, of all the things he had to deal with. He really didn't know. It must have been lifetime and lifetimes of bad luck just manifesting here. It just had to be. If he didn't have white hair before surely all the stress would have turned his hair white. Rubbing his forehead, he watched with tired eyes as the most annoying version of Gilgamesh scowled at Kid Gil. The golden armored Archer seemed particularly loud today. The Caster version of Gilgamesh rolled his eyes and he thumbed through a thick tome nearby.

"You weren't even supposed to go near her!" scowled Gilgamesh as he crossed his arms in front his golden armor.

"I was bored!" Kid Gil said rolling his eyes as if that justified anything. "...Besides I asked Caster already and he said she has an exceptional high affinity with me...us" Kid Gil trailed of thinking of the confusing logistics. "...anyways, I really like her." He said with a finality. The golden archer swung his scowl to Caster who arched an eyebrow at him.

"It's true." Caster said dismissively to the golden Archer as he went back to the book. Caster didn't even know why he was here. Kid Gil and the golden Archer had argued all the way into the kitchen where EMIYA had been cleaning the kitchen. Apparently EMIYA was stress cleaning almost everything in Chaldea. It's not like it was his fault that Kid Gil had come to him and asked him to cast a spell of compatibility. What was surprising was that she was so compatible that he did the spell twice. Just to be sure. So compatible that Caster considered trying his luck to see if he could near Rin.

EMIYA decided that he this was clearly some warped reality. It clearly wasn't happening. Though the kid version was much more tolerable than the others. He would have never imagined this. One, still not being able to get near Rin. Two, Kid Gil proclaiming she was his pseudo girlfriend. However, between Atalanta, the other Arthur and Bedivere his sanity was already being tested. And now this. Fed up, EMIYA opened his mouth only to shut it as Arturia stormed in. Disapproval and anger on her face. She marched right up to Kid Gil who had the sense to be scared.

" ..Many a hero have told me that you are saying that Rin is your…..girlfriend?" her voice so serious that it made everyone straighten up just a little.

"...Yes?" Kid Gil said hesitantly.

"...Then you MUST ensure her HONOR! You must speak to her guardian! Tis only proper. Such disrespect is not fit for a lady of her station." Saber brightened immediately as she started to explain the details of a proper courtship to kid Gil. The other older Archer Gilgamesh taking notes secretly behind the two as he nodded at Saber's words.

EMIYA tried to interrupt Saber to say that Rin didn't follow such rules in her time only to be met by a bunch of swords flying at his head from the Gates of Babylon- followed by a loud screech.

"...SHUT UP MONGREL, THIS IS IMPORTANT!"

* * *

:)


	14. Older

AN at the end!

Life's been super busy

* * *

Rin's forehead crinkled in concentration. Slow breaths she thought to herself.

In.

Out.

Repeat.

In.

Out.

Repeat.

Repeat.

Repeat.

Her blue eyes widened in anticipation as she felt her mana flow. Fighting a frown, she edged out her mana slowly.

Slowly.

SLOWLY.

She could see form taking shape under her hands. This was an old practice. One her father had taught her early on. Reshaping crystals to control and hone her mana usage. But here, her mana was constantly out of whack. Flaring and almost overwhelming sometimes. What was worse when she didn't even realize her mana was lashing out. Rin wondered if it was due to the fact of the heavy ambient magic that trailed through the air. Normally, it'd be used by magi such as herself on a day to day basis but with so little humans left; it was like catnip to a magi like her. So much extra kinetic energy leftover from a bleak future. Always swirling around her asking to be used. It was like an instant pick me up every time.

Please. Please. _Please!_ Rin said to herself as she started to remove her hands. She really didn't want to go back and ask Gil for more crystals. As it was, she was pretty sure that she was running a pretty high tab with him. Not that he complained but still! In fact, he seemed really happy to help her out. She wondered wistfully at all the gems he could probably give to her! It would be so much easier than having to go and bargain for them.

Rin held her breath in anticipation and let out a loud sigh of relief. 

**SUCCESS!**

Giddy with happiness after so many failed tries. Rin instantly turned to a grab a brightly colored ribbon. Practically bouncing with glee, she skipped all the way to the cafeteria. It was crowded but her eyes quickly found its target. Normally she'd stop and speak to various heroes that called out to her but not today. Darting around legs she quickly threw herself into Atalanta's arms who seemed pleasantly surprised. Though Atlanta quickly started cuddling her in her lap(which was ONLY allowed do be done by Atalanta).

"HERE!" Rin said she practically shoved the crystal in her hands. " I made this for you!"

Rin rolled her eyes and ignored the sudden surge in heroes around them who were wondering what was happening. What a nosy bunch! Unable to contain her excitement- she blurted out.

"It's a cat! Just like you!"

Atalanta's green eyes slowly looked at the small crystal cat with its bright ribbon around its neck and then back down at Rin several times. In those moments, Rin wondered if maybe Atalanta didn't like it. Technically she wasn't actually a cat after all. And maybe it was a insult to keep calling her as such. UGH! Maybe she should have just give her a flower. Everyone likes flowers RIGHT? She was an IDIOT. Did she any more crystals left in her room? She'd definitely have to ask Gil for more. And she should have waited till it was just them! She shouldn't have given it to her in front of all these heroes! ARGHH! She was such an idiot! Rin's mind kept ranting at herself until she heard the sharp intake of Atalanta's breath.

Ever so slightly Rin looked up ready for rejection. Instead she looked into a to a watery smile and bright green eyes.

"...So you like it?"

At her question, Atalanta's arms wrapped around her and pressed her forehead against hers. Long blonde hair brushed against her nose tickling her. Rin scrunched her nose to avoid giggling when Atalanta's melodic voice purred into her ear.

"It's beautiful "

* * *

...So somewhat for a belated Mother's Day theme ish. Hopefully this chapter sorta came out okay

Work has been really crazy. I've been putting in 10+ hrs days about 6.5 days a week recently for work projects(I even worked on actual Mother's Day). So my postings will be even more sporadic! Sadly, I don't have a lot of free time to write/post in the foreseeable future. I'll do my best though! I will come back :).


	15. Lion

It's been a little while!

I'm actually sick right now. Wrote a quick chapter

* * *

Rin was staring.

She knew she was staring.

She could feel a frown creeping to her face. She wondered if she was developing a weird habit of doing this. Staring at heroes.

It was just..s_he could see it_.

In her mind's eye.

She could see it so clearly though. As clear as day. As real as anything else.

So **yes**, she was staring.

Really hard

She was probably crazy but the more she thought about it ...

...was it really though?

She could see the flutter of a blue skirt, the glow of a sword held high but that was wrong.

Wasn't it?

But the more she looked, she could swear up and down that it was right...

But when could have that happened?

Focusing on bright green eyes framed by blonde hair. His handsome face was serious which she appreciated. To his credit, he hadn't flinched or even made any comments. He really was just so handsome. Though she could practically feel Bedivere was hovering in concern nearby. She almost rolled her eyes at the thought. Fighting an internal struggle of how to phrase her question, Rin finally spoke looking directly into those gorgeous green eyes.

"...Have you ever been a girl?"

Arthur fought the urge to smile or frown as he heard laughter roaring in the background.

Inwardly, he sighed.

Well, this was certainly going to be interesting.

* * *

Cough...ugh...hit or miss on consistent chapters for ongoing future. Sorry its so short!


	16. Bedtime

yay for chapter

* * *

If she had been a cat, Rin would have been purring in content.

She closed her eyes in happiness as Atalanta brushed her hair. It wasn't that she really needed anyone's help. She was a big girl. Head of her household. Not that there was anyone left in it. Not for now at least. So, you see she really didn't need the help.

But she did appreciate it. Atalanta had just started one day randomly. It was also a way to catch up on the day. Now that Rin had been making friends and spending time with other heroes and spending time away from her

She supposed maybe this was normal. She wouldn't really know. It had been a while since she had someone care enough to ask and really mean it. To be fair, it's not like she's ever admit such a weakness to that false priest. He'd just twist it around.

Her thoughts started to wander

How long had she really been here?

How long would she keep staying?

Did she even know the way back?

**Should** she ever find a way back?

And then in the darkest depths of her heart, a tiny voice spoke.

Would it be so bad just to stay here?

Her heart skipped a beat.

Forever?

Safe and loved…

But what **about**...

_It wasn't fair to her..._

Frowning, Rin shook her head chasing the thoughts away. Rin had asked for a miracle and she had gotten it. More or less. She had a mission. She couldn't let herself forget. No matter how nice it might be. But maybe, she could take a part of it back with her. After all she was a powerful magus! Someone to love and take care of them till the end of their days.

As if remembering where she was Rin looked back, Atalanta pretended not to have seen Rin's mini internal fit. She flashed her a bright smile.

"... Now Rin- Gil came by and asked permission to court you. Anything you'd like to share?"

* * *

I'm mentally preparing myself for next week at work. Its going to be a LONG one. Ugh..why


	17. Flowers

..Anyone still here? Sorry I've been away!

* * *

The first time Tohsaka Rin ran into someone else's dream she didn't even realize it.

After all, didn't the unexpected happen in dreams?

One minute she had been chasing her little sister Sakura, who in her dreams still had black hair and blue eyes like her; through the park. Their mother was sitting a little away watching them from a picnic blanket with a soft smile on her face. Father was standing watching them as they tumbled about. The sun was shining and puffy clouds were passing by. Sakura's laughter filled the air as she egged Rin on to catch her.

So, on and on it went. Rin and Sakura tumbling through grassy fields filled with sun. So, when Rin chased after her sister she didn't notice the increasing amount of flowers popping up. Though soon enough, Rin stopped having lost sight of her sister in what seemed to be an endless field of flowers.

It was quiet. Peaceful even. But she couldn't hear her sister. Just the wind.

Suddenly, Rin running. No real rhyme or reason. Rin ran through zig zagging through the flowers. Mana spurning her on. It compelled her. There was something. Just something. Rin ran till she felt her like lung would burst. Till finally.

Finally, she burst onto a clearing. Rin panted loudly as bent over trying to catch her breath.

"Now, now..isn't this a surprise? A male voice. Gentle. Surprised.

Looking up, Rin stared into clear violet eyes. Slowly she blinked. Clad in white robes with matching white hair he smiled widely at her. The scent of flowers delicately floating through the air.

She had never lost Sakura in one of her dreams. Only in her nightmares.

Was this the start of one..?

"...what is this place?" Rin asked looking around. It seemed too pretty to be a nightmare.

"Don't they teach you anything in school these days?" he grinned as he flung an arm outward. "This is **Avalon**."

All she could see was a seemingly endless field of flowers. Glancing up at the fluffy clouds she breathed in deep. It was peaceful here. Like all her troubles had been lifted and that her days would only be filled with this. Endlessly filled with flowers and sunshine.

Shaking her head of the thoughts, she tilted her head "Have you seen another little girl? Black hair, blue eyes like me, smaller though?"

"..Ah. Alas. Little one, all that remains here is me.. " He trailed off. He had looked so sad when he said it. That Rin actually felt compelled to give him a hug. Maybe she was a sucker for people with violet eyes. Maybe they reminded her of Sakura too much. Or maybe she was getting soft. He seemed pretty lonely.

"...Am I still dreaming?" Rin wondered aloud. He gave her a lopsided smile.

"...Isn't that the problem of any dream? They're far bigger than reality" He said suddenly plucking a nearby flower and tucking it behind her hair.

Wait..

Frowning, Rin picked the flower that he had placed behind her ear. Twirling it in her fingers, it looked startlingly familiar. Just like one a golden hair-ed boy had given her.

"..isn't this?!" Rin started. He winked and laughed easily as he plucked it out of her hands as he placed it back. He smoothed her hair back. His purple eyes danced with joy as chuckled.

"...You two are just so cute together! Gil really likes you!" He tweaked her nose as she looked up sharply.

"Who are you?"she asked, eyes wide.

"They call me the Magus of Flowers. Though **Master**, you may call me Merlin."

* * *

..Ohhhhhhh


	18. You & Me

Oh I'm early this week!

* * *

Rin's expression was serious.

Even from his quite decent distance away, Berserker could see it from where he stood slightly trying to blend into the shadows. He could see her forehead crinkle in thought. She was tugging on her twin tails ever so often. A sure sign that Rin was slightly anxious. Her blue eyes were glued to her counterpart. Nodding here and there but really offering much else. Berserker frowned as a soon hero blocked his view. Not that he _really_ cared or anything. His frown soon became a scowl as he looked into familiar red eyes. And it grew even wider when more familiar red eyes popped up.

"AH! Guess it was nice while it lasted right?!" Lancer exclaimed loudly as he awkwardly swung an arm around Berserker trying to avoid any spikes. Lancer gave him a wide grin as he motioned over to where Rin was still deep in conversation. Immediately, shoved the arm off and craned his head to make sure that nothing had exploded or if Rin's mana had started acting up as it was prone to do around Lancer. Thankfully, he noted that nothing had changed since he first stood up his silent vigilance. The distance still kept her safe.

"What do **YOU** want."

Berserker growled as the other versions of himself moved closer to him. Since he had met Rin, he had found that he very much preferred her company over his other versions. They were so very annoying. Always pestering him with questions and what not especially Lancer who seemed to take the deepest delight in teasing him. Calling him all sorts of outlandish names in his apparent submission to Rin. Which wasn't true at all. No, he just preferred her company over theirs which to be fair wasn't saying much at all.

"Don't be so grumpy! I mean, it just looks like little missy might be replacing you." Lancer said slyly. The other version just make useless sounds in the back. Berserker turned to flash a smile that was all teeth at Lancer. He knew Lancer wasn't really trying to hurt his feelings. Just tease him. But he did have a point. He was a monster. Little girls and monsters didn't normally have a good track record. Not that he'd EVER let Lancer know he thought about it before. As he opened his mouth to make Lancer want to curl up in a little ball in the corner crying when -

"BERSERKER!"

Rin's voice suddenly called out. Her hands were waving in the air as she sprinted over. He threw a withering glance and his other selves quickly melted themselves away as she closed the distance. As she grew nearer her sprint turned into a run as she prepared to barreled into him. Her eyes grew wide as she got close. With just span of a breath short of his spiky shell, he bent and opened his arms. Rin had developed tendency to run at him. Though he warned her against it. But Rin liked to push her boundaries- as if daring him to let her run into his spiky exterior. Rin giggled as he gently lifted her up into his arms.

He was such a sap. No wonder Lancer teased him.

"I've been looking for you everywhere!" she said breathlessly as she titled her forehead towards his.

"You seemed to be in quite a deep conversation, Master. I did not want to disturb you." He said softly. Berserker could hear the very annoying other versions of himself making comments in the background. He fought the urge to summon his lance and destroy the pillar they were currently hiding behind and watching their interaction. Rin would probably notice and ask about it. Though he could probably think of something to distract her...

Rin scrunched up her face thoughtfully at his words before she brightened and smiled.

" Ne, Berserker, Fou _really_ doesn't like Merlin huh?"

* * *

This went a diff way in my head but still worked out i hope :).


	19. False

...a chapterrrr!

* * *

Karna was looking for Rin.

Well to be exact, Atlanta was looking for Rin and he was helping. Which was quite unusual. Rin certainly knew better. After a few instances in the beginning, Rin had been explicitly told not to wander around without letting someone know. So at the very least, they wouldn't spend hours looking for her just to wind up finding her chatting with a hero with whom she lost track of time. There was one time that stood out to him; a memory that shaped his view forevermore of the young Master. When they had finally found her, after hours, she had looked so very confused about why they were upset with her. And when Atalanta asked her about it. She had looked at him and Atalanta with wide blue eyes and said that she wasn't used to someone caring.

He soon learned in their extended time together that she embodied traits he liked: Friendship, effort and harmony. Well for the most part; at least. EMIYA and the versions of Cu Chulaiin were always on the verge of fighting; so he supposed that really wasn't fair to blame it on her. Such an eccentric Master if he had to describe her. It had started slowly, so slowly that he in fact didn't even realize that she had gotten to him until it occurred to him one day when she ran up to him with those eyes. Those young eyes filled which such...faith. Such pure and unbridled faith. But he wasn't one to argue. If anything, to him she was nothing short of a blessing.

But….

Karna had checked her room repeatedly, the classrooms, the cafeteria where he effectively avoided EMIYA, and with the knights where he avoided Bedivere. Their concern was quite over the top and very loud at at given time. So where could she be? Chaldea was quite extensive. He rounded another corridor and was met with nothing. And so he continued. Another hallway. Another corridor. On and on. He certainly hoped she had a reason. Sighing loudly, he turned another corner.

**AH!**

Rin was standing there looking quite perplexed with a hero that he didn't immediately recognize offhand. As he moved forward to claim the wayward girl, he paused ever so slightly as the unknown hero turned. A frown made its way to Karna's face.

Moriarty..

Moriarty stood and tilted his head in acknowledgement to Karna as he walked past him. Throwing a smile over his shoulder, he lifted a hand to wave goodbye at Rin who was still thinking hard.

"Master! Let me know!"

Karna continued to watch as he walked away. Turning, a frown was still on his face as he turned to Rin. Silently, he gently put a hand onto Rin's shoulder which startled her out of her thoughts. Blinking, she smiled up widely at him before gesturing she wanted to be carried. He almost smiled at the sight. While Rin would deny it, she seemed to like being carried more often than not. Rin did not elaborate on her conversation with Moriarty as she settled into his arms. Karna knew better, if Rin didn't want to share, he would not push. Though, he could only imagine how Atalanta would react to this development. And of course he had his own very valid concerns. Certainly, he was not one to judge but….

Moriarty and Rin?

"Karna, can I ask you a weird question?" Karna nodded silently relieved as she wrapped her arms around his neck just like so many times before. His mind started racing. Was Moriarty trying to lead her into darkness? Was he whispering things that would entice her to evil? Surely, this meeting was an omen. He would not allow this to come to pass. So, he mentally braced himself for Rin's question.

"...do you think it's weird that Moriarty wants me to call him Papa?"

* * *

..Meh?


	20. Self

Happy Labor Day!

* * *

Rin was a genius. She wasn't trying to brag. This was a simple truth. Her teachers knew it. Her friends back home had known it. Her parents had known it. Even the Magus Association had journeyed across to Japan to test and classify her. And she was a rarity even among magi. A manipulator of all five elements. An Average One.

Normally, she could see the solution coming together when she sat down to solve a problem. Schoolwork was easy compared to magecraft. Some days she thought she should have accepted the Magus Associations offered to be fostered and tutored overseas. After all, they did not make this offer to just _anyone_ . They certainly did not make the same offer to Sakura. Apparently, her potential for greatness should be molded under the best of teachers. Her father had been very tempted. Wasn't it as great honor and privilege for the Tohsaka family? An acknowledgement of talent and power so early on in Rin's life. A true testament to their family name.

The idea of advanced magecraft made Rin bounce in excitement. To learn, to thrive in such a competitive environment practically made her mana flare up in Association had even trotted out some Magus brats from other families to entice her. There were very few children that they acknowledged in such a capacity. Her education would there would not be surpassed by any other. But Rin loved her small life. Her friends and her family. She loved her little sister. So while her father and mother toyed with the idea of sending Rin to be fostered in London. Rin already knew in her heart what she wanted. Perhaps, that what made Rin different from other magi children who grew up in other magical families. Rin if nothing else was confident in one thing.

_Herself._

So when her parents sat her down with a Magus Association representative, she smiled and proudly declined the opportunity. Her father was more than a competent man. He could teach her. Rin wouldn't waste her talent but she also didn't want to grow up without her family. She could learn in Japan and grow up with her kind mother and adoring sister. Ironically, in a relatively short time after, Rin would end up all alone. First her father, then her mother and finally Sakura. Loss after loss. Each one chipping away at her heart. It was in the days that followed, alone in her empty house Rin would wonder.

_It's strange_ Rin thought to herself. The thoughts and memories that come up when you least expect it. The ones that you try to keep locked in your heart. Wondering if you made the right decision. Of paths not taken. If your life would have been better. Maybe even worse.

Rin shook her head to chase away the thoughts and memories away as turned her head slightly upward. Gramps(otherwise known as King Hassan) as she liked to call him was waiting patiently for her to come back to the present. Tilting his head he gestured for her to raise her arms. This is where she was. This was where her choices had taken her. This is where life had led her so far. She should not let herself be dragged back into melancholy of the past.

Rin really was a genius.

So, she knew that a summer event at the beach with all of Chaldea was something to cherish. The largest party she ever saw in her short life. Filled with more heroes than she could ever imagine. She smiled as he slipped a round inflated tube in the shape of a donut around her. Silently, he nodded pushed her off towards the beach where Mash and others where waiting. She laughed loudly Achilles sent a large wave of water toward her. Mash stepped in to furiously defend her. Yes, Rin was smart enough to know that days like this was something she wanted to keep in her heart.

A day she could look back on and just smile.

* * *

...ah end of summer!


	21. Blue

*waves hi*

* * *

"...This is Rin."

Rin tilted her head in confusion as she saw the sudden change in the serene face. The green haired Lancer who was apparently named Enkidu was just staring down at her. Like she was a ghost. Like she was supposed to be something else? Someone else? Rin could swear she saw something else mixed in there. She didn't have the words to describe it. There was something. She just didn't know what.

Rin looked up at Bedivere who stood just behind her. His expression on the other hand was like an open book. Full of kindness and adoration if not slightly embarrassed by her actions. Rin pouted at him. He smiled down at her before starting to apologize to the hero at Rin's line of questioning. Rin immediately turned her gaze back to the green haired Lancer.

"...do you melt in the rain? Do you have organs? " Rin knew she was babbling maybe even borderline intrusive as Bedivere had implied. But C'mon! It wasn't like she often met people made of clay! Seriously!

"Ah, Rin. Let's not be rude" Bedivere chided her gently.

"Why are you a Lancer?" For Rin, she was having a hard time computing. Really. Truly. Made of clay. Literally made from a clod of earth. Brought to life by the Old Gods. Which was a whole other piece of information she wanted more time to process. Her mind was already racing with questions. The implications were mind boggling to her.

The green haired Lancer just kept staring at her. Which was starting to get slightly unnerving. Lancer's face was pale as the white tunic that brushed along the floor. Some heroes did tend to stare at her when they first met her. After all, no one had ever in their wildest dreams thought that a kid would be a Master. And here she was. The only Master in all of Chaldea. It wasn't like Rin was a normal kid, either, she was a genius and powerful magus - head of her family. But she supposed it had more to do with their morals and honor than it did with her. Even back home, it was unheard of someone as young as her to even be considered to be a Master for the Holy Grail War. It was taboo she guessed to have kids fight in a Holy Grail War much less time travel to fix singularities- not that she'd get to do it at this rate!

Rin's questions started to taper off as the staring was starting to make her uncomfortable. Enkidu hadn't said a word so far in the midst of her babbling. She winced- Bedivere was right, she really being rude. Father would had certainly scolded her much more deeply and harshly than Bedivere if he saw and heard her now. She certainly wasn't being elegant. Enkidu probably thought she was a idiot or even worse _not worthy._ Just a brat. Scowling to herself, she open her mouth to apologize and to just cut her losses now. You can't win over all heroes right? She could beat herself up later about it.

Soft hands suddenly touched her cheeks which caused her eyes to widen. Green hair brushed up against hers. Green eyes peered into her face. Slowly, the soft hands carefully tilted her face towards upwards.

"...Blue eyes..." Enkidu said it so softly Rin had strained to hear it despite being so close.

Rin blinked slowly as she nodded slightly confused at the sudden action. Ever so slowly, a gentle smile graced Lancer's face.

"...it truly suits you."

* * *

I actually have no idea if that's in line with how Enkidu would react. *Shrugs* Oh wells!

*waves bye*


	22. Lull

hey oooo

* * *

Atalanta looked up from the book in the small living area she shared with Rin as she heard the bedroom door open. She threw a glance at Berserker who had been dozing outside Rin's door perk up. More often than not, Atalanta would find him in his smaller size settling down to sleep either on Rin's actually bed or if he got there after Rin was already tucked in; just flopping outside the child's door. Secretly she thought that Berserker liked the delight on Rin's face in the morning when she saw him. Not that she _would_ ever say it aloud. Some things were better left unspoken. But there standing in over sized cat covered pajamas was Rin - who was rubbing her eyes.

Rin was normally a heavy sleeper. The kind where you could drag her out of bed and she would still be dozing peacefully. Needless to say, getting her up in the morning was more a chore in itself. Didn't matter who tried to wake her up. Rin slept like the dead. But as of late, she had been waking up more and more in the middle of the night. Often mumbling, sometimes confused and as of late either holding or rubbing the sides of her head. Suppressing a frown, Atalanta set aside her book and asked. "Trouble sleeping?"

"...I had a weird dream.." Rin said slowly as the young magus was still half asleep. A beat later she nodded solemnly in response to the question. Her eyes brightened slightly as the sight of Berserker who had padded over to her feet. Reaching down, she petted him softly. "….I'm not sure it was.." she trailed off uncertain how to phrase her words.

Raising an eyebrow Atalanta threw a look to Berserker who nodded in return.

"..Do you want to talk about it?" Atalanta said gently as she stood and walked over to the child. Rin looked up with wide eyes still clearly thinking about her dream. Too distraught and sluggish to fully form the right words to express her thoughts. Seeing Rin's bleak expression, Atalanta lifted her into her arms and walked back to the couch. Picking up the book again, Atalanta began reading aloud softly as Rin cuddled in her lap. The young child's grip firm on the young heroine as if afraid to let go.

At times, like this Atalanta couldn't help but wonder. Rin didn't have anyone back home. Not like this. No one to soothe her and keep the bad things at bay. Real and imagined. Even for a independent child like Rin, she needed someone. Perhaps that's why Rin liked to stay up late. Or when she let Atalanta baby her to no end. Even throwing herself into mage craft. Out of habit and perhaps the sheer fear of being faced with the fact that at the end of the day Rin was utterly alone. And that just pained Atalanta's heart.

Rin sighed softly as the warmth of Atlanta's melodic voice washed over her. A sense of being safe slowly lulling her back to slumber. Even as she fought to stay awake, her eyes were dropping against her will. Slowly, her breath slowed and evened out. At this, Atlanta purred softly into Rin's ear.

"...It's late. Come, little one. Let's get you back into bed."

If had been in any state to Rin pay attention, she would have noticed Berserker following them back to her bedroom. But more important she would have seen him trace runes in the air as she settled back into the bed. Rin rubbed her eyes sleepily as Berserker jumped onto the bed and nuzzled her neck before settling down next to her head. Ever so softly, he whispered into her ear.

".. Rest now. I'll guard your dreams tonight."

* * *

I hadn't planned on Berserker taking such a big role but so cute! I'm half inclined to do an offshoot fic "Adventures of Smol Rin and Puppy"

byeeee


	23. Banner

Sorry, I'm super late or early depending on your point of view. My brother in laws wedding took up alot of time and energy. And going on vacation soon!

* * *

She was no stranger to danger. In fact, almost all of her life before her untimely death had been spent either in battle or preparing for battle. So, to say that Jeanne d' Arc had nerves of steel wouldn't be too far off. Any doubts she had would be solved by her power in her faith. No matter what had been thrown at her, she had faced it head on and with a clear heart.

However, as she exchanged a nervous smile with Karna who was currently holding onto a small blue eyed child's hand she wondered if she was prepared for this. It wasn't like she didn't like kids. She did! She really did! It was just Rin, as she had introduced herself was an image of adorableness. With large curious blue eyes and long dark hair pulled into twin tails decked out in a crisp white Chaldea Master uniform. Jeanne's fought the urge to just grab her in her arms and just squeeze.

"...Ruler?" Rin smiled up at her. " You can command all servants in a war?"

"..Well, I'm only summoned if there is an irregularity during a war. It is not something you would want to experience." Jeanne frowned slightly at the thought of Rin who would no doubt end up fighting sometime in her future. While, Rin would undoubtedly survive anything life could throw at her. Masters normally ended up to their arms in bloodshed. One way or another.

Rin tilted her head and made a 'hmmn" sound before looking up at Karna. "May I have a drink? I'm thirsty". He looked at her for a beat before nodding at Jeanne and walking away. As Karna walked away, Rin's eyes turned serious as she regarded Jeanne.

"...You're a Saint, right?" Rin continued as Jeanne nodded "...with powers. So you...what can you do?"

" ..Ah.." Jeanne said slowly wondering what exactly to say. But she waited for Rin to speak. For it seemed like she had something she wanted to ask.

"...Could you...help someone? If they were….." Rin hesitated " ...infected?" Jeanne frowned at Rin's question. It wasn't exactly like Rin's past was a secret. After all she had interacted with several heroes in other lifetimes and a future vessel for the divine. But Rin couldn't summon a ruler in a war. It was beyond even the most powerful magi. And by that off chance that she did appear in a war, she was neutral. Supporting no one. Certainly Rin knew that.

...so what did Rin want to achieve?

" ...I can only give peace to the dead, if that's what you're asking" Jeanne finally said. Looking into those clear blue eyes, Jeanne felt a a tug at her heart. While their stories weren't the same it was similar. Rin was a young girl who would walk into battle. Willingly. With only her ideals to hold onto. And if history had anything to suggest, it would happen over and over again. To Jeanne, that was more than a tragedy in so many ways.

Rin's eyes turned sad for a beat before she smiled up at Jeanne and slipping her hand in hers.

"It's okay. Some things can't be changed" Rin said tugging Jeanne along. " Karna's back.

As Jeanne let herself be pulled along, she wondered how Atalanta could stand it. Knowing she would lose those blue eyes one day. Rin looked over her shoulder at Jeanne and arched an eyebrow.

"By the way, you know you kind of look like Arthur? "

* * *

byeee


	24. Ache

...waves*

* * *

The world was _hazy_.

Her head hurt. A lot. Her mouth tasted like cotton balls and ash. Everything seemed to hurt. From the top of her head to the soles of her feet. Ever so slowly, Rin opened her eyes sluggishly. Cautiously not to move suddenly, shifted her head slightly to look around. Huh. This wasn't her room. From what she could tell, it wasn't any room she was particularly familiar with either. It wasn't really dark but it wasn't bright either. Tilting her head she could see various books of all sizes and overflowing with plants.

How did she get here?

Wasn't that the question? Closing her eyes, Rin raised a head to her temple; slowly rubbing it. What had she done that day?

Think..

Think...

...she had woken up late. Atalanta had rushed to help her get into her uniform and off to her lessons.

But that scenario wasn't uncommon. While Rin thought she woke up at a normal time, everyone else seemed to think different. So more often than not, Rin missed breakfast which never a good thing. By the time lunchtime rolled around, Rin was normally either so grouchy snapping and talking back to any and everyone or completely drained- which often resulted in a hero carrying her to the lunchroom. So, while Atalanta and Berserker tried their very best- but Rin simply was not a morning person. As Rin thought back, she remembered being grouchy by the time lunch rolled around. She remembered rushing out and practically running to the cafeteria.

...an then..

Something...

Pink?

Was someone wearing pink? No that wasn't right.

...a pink haired hero. Who apparently hated Rin on sight. From there it had gone downhill. Way downhill. Rin hadn't the faintest idea what she kept babbling around. She kept cutting Rin off at her attempts to speak. Her head hurt from all the words that were spewed toward her. Berserker had never mentioned dating anyone. Much less a WIFE. Which only seemed to further anger the pink haired hero who basically exploded at her and calling her pathetic and worthless.

Which Rin took great offense too.

If this person was soo great and actually involved with Berserker, then why hadn't Rin ever heard of her or even seen her before. It didn't make any sense. Internally, it wasn't like she knew what her sort of puppy did all the time but she was SURE he'd mention a significant other if he had one. I mean, Rin had seen some heroes looking all lovey dovey at each other. And if she was his so called wife, then why did he spend so much time away from her! Berserker seemed to hang around her more often than not.

But above all, her pride of a magus would never allow someone even a heroic spirit to be called pathetic much less worthless without a reply.

The pink hero had gotten up close to Rin and she remembered suddenly feeling scared. She remembered her mana flaring up; hot and angry. Ready to implode. Her blood boiled in response to a sense of danger. Rin knew logically she couldn't win against a heroic spirit but if it came to that- she'd be damned if she didn't give it her best shot. She would defend her family name against anyone. Even if she knew it would end badly.

And then...

Everything was sort of blurry after that. She thought she had seen Arthur rushing in...but he looked the way she had seen in some of her dreams. But that wasn't right? And maybe Siegfried was there? She remembered white hair but he dressed all wrong in red.

...But that didn't seem right either..

Fighting through a headache, Rin pushed herself up onto her elbows. Taking deep breaths, she flexed her fingers. After a little bit, she felt better. But Rin already frowning. Losing control of her mana like that? What was she- a beginner? She was already having trouble just converting crystals which was as basic as you even get. It was embarrassing. To admit her magic was so out of whack. So out of tune with her. Or perhaps Rin just had too much pride to ask for help even if was from heroic spirits.

What kind of master couldn't control their magic? How could she call herself the head of her family if she couldn't even manage that. And if she could't. How could she ever be worthy…?

Movement caught Rin's eye and she looked up into pale yellow eyes framed by jet black hair. The lady with pale yellow eyes and curved ears laughed. Maybe she was an elf?

"Am I dead?"

"Silly girl." She laughed and it sounded like bells. " My name is Semiramis. You're an interesting little girl aren't you?" She winked at Rin. "..My cute apprentice."

* * *

its windy out...byeee


	25. Hurt

short one this time~

* * *

At so many points in his life and continuing into his after life, he wondered if he would ever stop being punished. Not that he didn't deserve it. How could someone like him ever be truly forgiven, anyways? He had taken so many lives in his time. Alive and dead. His hands were bathed in so much blood that it would never wash away. Not in any of his lifetimes combined. His sins were high and plenty. As were his regrets. Some days he could even believe it when he told himself that this was always his destined path. After all, how could so many lives all end up along the same path? For so long, in so many lifetimes he had thought he had been trying to make the world a better place.

Wasn't that the reason he traded in his afterlife for?

The power to save innocents.

To make the world a better place.

The one for the many.

He could bear the burden.

Or so he had thought.

So very foolishly.

And so when he sat on his hill, surrounded by swords. Still bound by a life he had left behind. Some wounds just didn't heal. His memories fading in and out. It wasn't like he could just break his deal. Full of regret and an empty heart. What alternative did he even have?

"She what?" EMIYA whispered, snapping his attention back to the heroine that sat in front of him.

Atalanta shifted uneasily, casting her normally bright green eyes down. She hadn't wanted to talk to him, he could see plain as day. As Atlanta twisted her hands unhappily in her lap, EMIYA was struck with the thought that Atalanta really did care for Rin; maybe even loved her. She was loyal to Rin even in the short time with her. That he could relate too. He had been loyal to his Rin. And he was loyal to this version of Rin, even if he couldn't get near her. It didn't mean that he gave up trying. After all, how many lifetimes had he lived as her servant? How many lifetimes were they friends? How many times did her blue eyes save his sanity? And how many lives did he end up still turning away?

Some days he could live with his decisions of his life and after life. Even if the path was bloody and full of regret. He tried. He really did. The days in Chaldea had given him no small measure of semi- peace. The slow pace and company did wonders for his sanity. And some days he could almost believe he could he could rest here. If not just for a little bit.

But today….

"...Rin said dreamed she was made of swords" Atalanta raised her green eyes to meet his grey ones. ".. and she was hanged for treason."

…..wasn't one of those days.

* * *

*waves bye*


	26. Smile

Happy Halloween!

* * *

There was excitement in the air.

Halloween wasn't necessarily a small event in Chaldea. Not to say that it wasn't celebrated -in the past they of course had done parties and trick of treating for the "young" heroes. It had been fun but having an actual human child at Halloween was something else entirely. There was a different energy this time that even Jack would admit too.

So, this particular holiday was more or less centered around Rin. Not that she seemed to mind. From what costume she wanted to wear, who would make it, to what games they would play at the party and of course who wanted to Rin to stop by their room for trick or treating along with the regular group.

Rin for her part was perfectly happy to go along with everything. Atalanta had the sneaking suspicion that Rin was milking it for all it's worth. In fact, she was so happy she continuously ignored the ongoing glare that Berserker kept throwing her way. "You look very handsome." she said solemnly in an effort to curb his grumpiness. Her words full of seriousness and sincerity.

"Rin, are you finished getting dressed? We have to go soon!" Atalanta called from the living room.

Squealing, Rin pushed back her bangs, her blue eyes brimming with happiness. Nothing was going to spoil her mood. Grabbing her basket she skipped out of her room with Berserker following her sulking.

"I'm ready!" Rin said burst into the living room as Atalanta examined her critically. At that sight of Rin, Atalanta fought the urge to throw her arms around the girl and just hug her to death. She was just so cute! UGH! Standing there, Rin looked up at her with big blue eyes decked out in her black and red checkered dress, her red cloak draping over shoulders perfectly.

"Ah, let's pull your hair back. Can't have your hair in your way can you, Little Red Riding Hood?" Atalanta said as she grabbed a nearby comb and quickly braided Rin's hair. Berserker huffed in the background noisily as Rin pulled up the red hood to her cloak after she was done.

"Since when does the wolf wear a bow?" Berserker grumbled as he tugged on the red bow Rin had tied around his neck.

"AHH~ Bererkerrrrr! Don't pull it off" Rin's voice wailed as she reached over to straighten the bright red bow. "I told you before! You're not a BAD wolf! You're a good wolf! Got it?"

Atalanta fought the urge to laugh as Berserker succumbed to Rin's pleading. Oh, how he was going to be teased tonight. There was no way he would ever live this down. No amount of growling or threatening would ever erase the image of Berserker with fake wolf ears and a fluffy red bow around his neck. Rin had really done a number on Berserker's image. He was really smitten by the young girl.

"..but why does she get to be the huntsman?" Berserker muttered loudly as Rin pulled him out the door.

* * *

Rin: Red Riding Hood

Berserker: The not so bad wolf

Atalanta: Huntsman(but not really)


	27. Chance

**SURPRISE-**

Bonus chapter b/c I thought it was needed.

Basically later that Halloween night...

* * *

Rin frowned at the height of the glasses. Huffing she went back into the cafeteria to drag a chair over. She had woken up abruptly in the night. The edges of her dream still whispering to her. She could hear Merlin's voice echoing in her thoughts. Not that she understood what he meant. She had sat there in the darkness for a little bit before pushing her covers back and making her way to the kitchen. No one was in the apartment as Atalanta and Berserker had told her that they were going to be out at a party when they tucked her in. Obviously, she had hoped to sleep through the night or long enough till one of them came but. But alas, this was not the case. So now Rin was hoping, she'd get her drink and be back before anyone noticed.

**Success!**

She grinned as she grasped the tall glass but soon yelped as the glass slid out from her under small fingers crashing to the floor. Cursing, she scrambled down from the chair. Staring at the broken glass, she sighed heavily.

Great ..

Looking around for a towel, Rin walked right into a pair of leather clad legs. Rin grunted as she fell back onto her butt. Immediately she started apologizing.

" I'm so sorry! I had a weird dream and woke up feeling thirsty.." Rin would have kept babbling about the unfairness of short people and tall shelves but wide grey eyes made her trail off. Tilting her head, she looked up at a hero she hadn't encountered before. Tall with white hair dressed in red and black. He was staring at her in utter disbelief.

"...Again, I'm really sorry if I startled you…" Rin said pulling nervously on her hair. His mouth was open and closing as if he didn't know what to say. "...Ah..I'm Rin.." she offered hesitantly. Maybe she should just go. She took a hesitant step towards the doorway. Suddenly, his jaw snapped closed.

"...Hello Rin..." his deep voice made her blink twice. "...I'm…" he said slowly. "….a Nameless Archer".

Rin tilted her head at this. "Nameless Archer? What does that mean? "

Rin went to move but she had forgotten that she had dropped her glass which littered the floor. With a cry, the nameless Archer scooped her up in his arms. In this moment, Rin heard Merlin's voice echo again in her mind. Instinctively, she curled her arms around his neck. Pulling back slightly Rin felt overwhelmed as she saw tears in his eyes. How very strange she thought to herself as she wiped them away.

"You should be careful." his voice whispered in her ear.

"Ne, Archer I can help you clean up. After all, I made mess." she said looked down at the floor. When she looked back he was shaking his head furiously. Then they were moving. Archer shifted Rin to one arm as he stepped over the broken glass. With his free hand, he filled a glass of water and carried them both outside to a table outside in the cafeteria. He gently set her down as if movement would hurt her.

"You said you had a weird dream?" He asked as she finished gulping down her glass.

"Mnn..sorta? Merlin was there..but I don't think we were in Avalon? I could hear loud chimes. Like bells? All I remember was him saying something about today..." Rin shrugged as she looked up. "..about walls? Or veils...being thin? But I haven't seen anything weird..."

Archer was looking at her with a kind smile. To be honest, he looked as if he might cry. Though she had no idea why. Maybe he had bad experiences with kids and didn't know how to act? Maybe he was secretly upset about the mess in the kitchen. Maybe he was just unsure about her. Straightening herself, Rin smiled widely and folded her hands primly in front of her. She may be just a kid but was a Tohsaka. Elegance was their specialty. Determined to make a better impression, Rin turned on the charm.

In the end, Rin didn't realize how long they sat and talked until her eyes started to droop lower and lower. It was always nice to meet a new hero and Archer seemed really interested in her but she was also a kid. Who was up way past her set bedtime. She didn't even realize how tired she was until her head was practically touching the table. Rin didn't even object when he said he was going to carry her back to her room. Nor did she even a peep when he gathered her up in his arms. The last thing she thought to herself as snuggled into his warmth was why he kept saying he was sorry.

* * *

...Aww...


	28. Fluff

..I've had major writers block. :(

It took a lot just to write this...booo

* * *

Rin smiled up widely at Arthur as they walked to the cafeteria. She really couldn't help liking him. He as nice and handsome and super polite. He was the epitome of a King in her opinion. There was just something about him that drew her to him. She couldn't really put her finger on it. She just had moments. Just moments where she could swear; it just felt...right? That they were almost in perfect harmony. She tried not to think too much about it. After all, her time was finite here. She would enjoy just as much as she could. As she giggled up at something Arthur said- Rin suddenly blinked rapidly as large yellow eyes suddenly took up her entire vision. Tilting her head back, she saw pink hair and then even further up, she saw large ears.

Upon further inspection- they were large fluffy ears.

Fox ears.

Fluffy tail.

Huh.

Rin blinked again as the pink haired fox lady rubbed up against her. Practically entwining herself in Rin's limbs. Atalanta had mentioned there were some other animal inclined heroes in Chaldea and while she had not met all of them. She had certainly not expected one to pop up and unexpectedly be extremely touchy with her. Not that it was unpleasant but definitely outside Rin's comfort zone. Arthur made no move to extract her so at the very least- he didn't seem to think she was in danger. Fighting the urge to slightly freak out at the proximity, Rin took a calming breath before speaking.

"..um, Hello?" Rin said as the tail wove itself through her hair. " I'm Rin."

The fox lady purred in happiness as she continued hugging Rin. Rin threw a look over at Arthur who was apparently talking to Bedivere who had came by sometime while she was distracted. Bedivere walked up cheerfully to her as he tilted his head in acknowledgement to the hero entwined with her.

"Hello Master!" Rin shot him a look as she sputtered to talk as a tail swept across her face. The fox lady turned her head and smiled cheerfully at Bedivere before turning back to Rin.

"I am one of the Tamamo Nine, the Wild Fox, Tamamo Cat! Nice to meet you, my Master!"

Rin for her part did her best to smile as she untangled herself from the hero. Running her hands through her mussed up hair, she smoothed down her uniform as she stepped back. However, as soon as she did, Tamamo slid up beside her again, arms encircling her as she rubbed her face against Rin's. Rin felt like throwing up her hands in defeat as both Bedivere and Arthur just shrugged and made a "go along with it" motion to her.

"It's very nice to meet you Tamamo..." Rin struggled to say. "would it be possible to ...ah let go..just a little?...I could hold your hand instead, perhaps?"

For her part, Tamamo held on for more than a few more moments before reluctantly doing as Rin asked but not before grabbing her hand.

" Time for food? LET's GO!" Tamamo said as she took off with Rin running behind her towards the cafeteria.

Rin called out to Arthur and Bedivere to follow who were apparently content just to stand by and let things unfold. They, being gentleman- of course listened to their master and followed albeit at a much a slower pace. Speaking of how their master was certainly bright today. Yes, indeed she was. Bright and warm like the gentle sun. What a wonderful sight it was to behold.

* * *

...slinks away.


	29. Here

Hope everyone had a good holiday(in the US) and a nice week if not

* * *

Rin sighed heavily as the magic dissipated under her hands. The flawless gem that Gil had provided to her was a stain on the floor now. Small sparkles flickered in the air. The scent of magic heavily layering the air before very slowly fading as Rin's hopes went along with it. Her shoulders slumped dramatically. What a failure. And even worse a unbelievably beautiful jewel had been wasted. Even though technically she hadn't needed to pay for the once quite large jewel; it still weighed heavy on her heart. She mentally mourned the loss even.

Suppressing the urge to sigh again, Rin reached for the heavy tome that was off to her side which she had been using as basis groundwork with one hand. Rin was already making thinking about what adjustments she needed to make for her spell work. With her other hand, she reached for her notebook which was filled with her own personal notes. Rin's eyes scanned over her work- just wondering where she went wrong.

Had she missed something?

Was her conversion rates off?

Did she use the wrong gem?

Was her math wrong?

Blowing her bangs from her face, Rin frowned.

Think.

Think.

Think.

**THINK.**

"ARGH" Rin practically shouted in frustration- shaking her head back and forth. Hands tugging at her hair. She wanted to throw a fit. She had spent so much time on this spell an its preparations. Just ...for nothing. Well she supposed the sparkles in the air was pretty but obviously way off with what she had wanted to do. Her father would surely be ashamed.

She needed to concentrate. She needed to think it out. She needed to….

'Here, Master!" Gil's voice interrupted her mental scolding of herself as her pen entered her view. Slowly blinking. Rin felt herself blush as she had forgotten that he was with her. Which she really shouldn't have since she had purposely tracked him down with specific dimensions of a gem she wanted to use in a spell. Which he in turn- happily supplied. Eager to help her. And of course she had been super confident that her spell would work- so she hadn't really objected when he gave the condition to stay with her to perform it.

Still upset, Rin took the pen from his hand as her shoulders slumped down even further. Gil in turn smiled brightly at her. At the sight, Rin gave him a weak smile. It wasn't like it was his fault it hadn't worked. And he really was being helpful with supplying her all the things she asked for. Even though he kept telling people she was girlfriend and she kept having explaining she was a girl that was also a friend. There was a difference. Rin was half certain that the young hero was just wearing her down.

"Master! That was quite fun!" Gil said as took the books from her. Rin opened her mouth to protest. She needed to focus. To pore over her notes and read obsessively until she could figure it out. He slowly stood up and then he held out a hand. Rin took more than a moment before grasping it. She looked back at the dying lights fading into nothingness.

His hand was warm.

...she supposed it couldn't get hurt to take a small break.

* * *

aww...and...I'm toying with an idea of an story arc(s)/adventure time.

If I do..hope you guys enjoy! stay tuned :)


	30. Share

heyyoooo

* * *

Fran inhaled deeply as the sweet but somehow spicy scent filled her senses. She held the bouquet of crystalline flowers gently. It's black ribbon trailed over her hands. Closing her eyes, she inhaled deeply again.

It smelled wonderful.

Of warmth

Of home

Of **Master**

Rin symbolized different things to everyone. To some she was just a child. To others, just a Master. Others, nothing at all. Though to be fair, most fell into a mix of everything. It was hard not too. But to a few, perhaps more than a few, a source of happiness- if only for a short time. And if you specifically asked Fran, she would choose the latter.

With her big blue eyes and long dark hair. Rin was the epitome of a precocious child. Talented and outspoken. Though she tried to guard herself- it was easy to tell that she had a big heart. Whilst, she had come a long way, Fran couldn't help feel hollow pangs of pain. When she looked at Rin surrounded by heroes. Practically showered with love and affection. She was everything Fran had wanted to be- a very long time.

But the day when they met and had Rin looked up at her and smiled- Fran felt any feelings of jealousy or animosity fade away. In fact, something else over took it. Rin's eyes filled with childish wonder and amazement of her. It was nice. In fact, Rin seemed to take a particular liking to her. Rin liked her pink hair. She liked her different colored eyes. She liked her horn. She liked how tall she was. She liked that Fran didn't say much. Or communicate much. Rin just plain liked her. For no rhyme or reason.

Fran dislodged one of the crystal flowers and popped it into her mouth. Besides smelling wonderful, they also happened to taste delicious. Which Rin found incredibly hilarious the first time she accidentally ended up licking one. Apparently, under the tutelage of the witch Semiramis, Rin was beginning to channel some of her erratic and excess magic. It was an odd side effect. Edible crystalline flowers made from Master's magic. Always wrapped in Rin's pretty ribbons. Which of course she kept. After all, it was always a honor to accept such gifts from Master. Sometimes when they were together, she could feel Rin's sorrow. Which was certainly something she understood. In those times, while it was surely a small gesture, almost seemingly nothing- but to her it took almost all her courage to do so. Just to rest her hand on Rin's head. Which seemed to comfort the young girl.

Rin was different- she'd tell herself. The flowers were a symbol of affection. Maybe...just maybe...she was the one. Rin's sweet voice shook her out of her blissful wishing.

"Ne, Fran is that my ribbon around your neck?"

* * *

I hope I captured Fran somewhat? I did revise a few times.

byeee


	31. Sneak

here we go

* * *

Chaos reigned.

It was expected and unexpected all at the same time. It was beautiful in a way. Almost poetic- if you were a bystander; that is. Which luckily for Rin- she happened to be. To be fair, Rin hadn't really planned _that_ far ahead. Just a few steps. Well, she certainly hadn't thought it was have descended into this. Heroes who were friends and once longtime companions were now yelling at the top of their lungs. Finger pointing and accusations thrown about. Her blue eyes swung around to take in the blossoming anarchy.

In the ensuing chaos, everyone had forgotten about her which was fine. Rin watched them thoughtfully from the safety of her seat. In a way, it reminded her of being back at her school. She glanced down idly at the remnants of her finished lunch- save for a lone milk carton.

"Huh. Did you know that was going to happen?" Jack who was sitting next to Rin turned to ask. Rin tilted her head thoughtfully as she sipped her milk- before shaking her head.

"I thought there would be some debate but didn't think it'd end up like this." They ducked as a chair flew over heads. Jack chuckled as she swung her legs back and forth- enjoying the display of Rin's darker impulses.

For a few more moments they sat there silently watching the cafeteria continued to descend into madness. As Rin drained her and set aside her empty carton down, she tilted her head to Jack.

" Do you want to get out of here?" Jack hesitated for a moment, glancing back at the soon to be fiery chaos; if she had to guess. Rin followed her line of sight and raised an eyebrow before saying

"We can play a game." After a beat, noting Rin's innocent expression- Jack nodded smiling.

" Let's go" Jack hopped off the bench and held out a hand. "This place is pretty crowded right now. Where do you wanna go?

"...I have an idea…" Rin trailed off mischievously as she grabbed Jack's hand. " ..I'm sure we'll be done before it's over." Hand in hand they walked out leisurely as something caught on fire behind them. So very predictable.

"..so did you get an answer?" Jack asked gesturing back to the fiery hell that used to be the cafeteria. Rin shrugged. As far as she could tell, there was no technical correct answer. But to completely honest, Rin had known that the minute the words passed through her lips. It really dependent on a myriad of situations and circumstances. Though, of course she herself had a personal opinion. Allies were important to keep; of course. Rin knew the importance of them. But she also knew that heroes, especially Heroic Spirits, despite their humility and bravery in so many ways was fairly predictable. In fact, she depended on it so much, that she was even more pleased as she heard the distant stomping and roaring of one Director; coming to see what the fuss was about.

"..Nope." Rin smiled as she tugged Jack's hand along as everyone continued to argue. Her question still weighing heavily in the air for all.

_ Who was _ _ actually__t__he strongest servant? _

* * *

..well, Wars have been started for _less_.


	32. Flutter

Its colddddd...and I'm early.

* * *

"You're sure you don't mind? Rin's worried voice drifted to his ears. " I don't want you to get bored…"

"Don't worry, you can just think of me as a child and talk about anything you'd like, Master..." Gil responded as Rin nervously twirled her favorite pen in her hand. Atalanta had attached a feather from one of her arrows to it so it immediately classified as precious.

Smiling brightly his response, Rin continued to lay out dimensions of a jewel she was looking for. Which of course he promptly tried to find one to match to summon from his treasury. Her face lit up and she clapped her hands in excitement as he handed it to her. Rin thanked him profusely before going back to drawing a circle on the barren she did, Gil studied her. Her blue eyes were narrowed in concentration and her dark wavy hair spilled over her shoulders as she worked. Her white uniform made her look extra pretty. Which he supposed wasn't exactly hard. He often said he liked calm and mature women. Rin certainly tried to emulate that. Elegance was what she always aimed for. But most of the time she ended up failing especially around other heroes.

Which always made him laugh.

As Rin settled back on her heels to look at her notes; she noticed him staring at her. She rolled her eyes before going back to work. He smirked as the tips of her ears turned red as she did so. Oh how he liked making Master blush. A sure sign of affection. Gil knew it wasn't like Rin wasn't using this to her own advantage. She had a penchant for jewels and he could provide. She saw mutual benefit to their relationship. Gil saw it as a stepping stone.

While his much much older, much more annoying and much more barbaric version of himself constantly prattled on how beneath Rin was to him...to them. How Rin was just using him for gems. Gilgamesh had an awful lot to say for one who kept claiming he didn't care at all. And sure, Saber was certainly cute and he supposed she was more or less calm as was her legend but that wasn't the point. Rin talked back, she made funny faces, she had conviction; she had fire. She made life less boring in an endless existence. And since he was the only version of Gilgamesh she had met- he didn't have to share. So it worked out wonderfully, that hanging out with Rin meant Goldie stayed far away. Which would have made it all worth it, even if Rin hadn't piqued his interest. And she happened to also smell really nice.

" Ah! Another failure.." her sad voice interrupted his inner musings. Gil looked up as the same sparkly lights that mirrored her failed earlier attempt filled the air around them. Her shoulders slumped dramatically as she pouted. Sighing loudly, Rin flopped down on the floor watching as her failed spell glitter. Gil hesitated for a moment before lying down next to her. Turning his head he watched as Rin held up a hand to make the leftovers of her failed spell into a pseudo meteor shower over them. He could see the heaviness of her failure weigh on her. But he could see her resolve harden even more. Rin was not a calm or quiet person. She was fun and full of surprises. She spoke loudly and often rashly. She was a person who tried til the very end. Gil was startled when Rin turned her head and her blue eyes looked directly into his before softly saying-

"Thanks for staying with me."

Rin's eyes were dark and deep- like a flower that blooms in the wild.

And in that moment, all he could see was her.

* * *

..and they called it puppy love..

so cute.

Also Saber is **love**...just not for kid Gil..in my world.

I might be putting out a few extra chapters before the new year and then taking a small hiatus.


	33. Bright

Christmas Eve!

* * *

Rin liked Christmas.

She liked the lights, the decorations, the snow but most of all she liked the warmth. The warmth that only came from a loving family during the festive holiday season. Or she had before she lost everyone who matter. First her sister and subsequently her parents. Then Christmas was a day that meant nothing. Just another day for her to sit alone in an empty house. Worse, the fake priest tried to hang about was more irritating than being an orphan. In fact, it made Rin feel even more alone. It was this loneliness and melancholy and drove Rin to seek the refuge of her basement. Forcing herself to focus on the one thing that would not and could not abandon her. No matter what happened in her life.

Magic.

It was the reason she was born. To be an heir. To excel. To surpass. To wield power and claim the Tohsaka's family righteous place in the wars to come but most of all regain their position at the Clock Tower. Rin wasn't stupid. Her parents loved her- she was sure of it. But Rin didn't fool herself thinking that she hadn't been a means to an end. A magus family was only as good as long as they had an heir. A legacy. That had been her. Isn't that why they had given Sakura away? The crumbling house of Matou had no one left and they needed a magical heir. And it wasn't that Rin didn't understand why. Her father had explained it. She knew the logic but it just really hurt.

So, she couldn't help but be a little broody during these times. Everyone was in a happy mood- joking and laughing. Everyone around her had lost their families centuries ago. They had time to come to terms or at least find a way to more or less live with it. Rin hadn't. Her family had been whole and complete and in the blink of an eye- all of it was gone. All that was left standing in the aftermath was her. She had built up the school idol persona for a reason. It was easier than having to deal with the crushing loss and emptiness of her life. It more or less affirmed her belief that being a magus meant she needed to be cold. Being cold meant she didn't have to feel. And anything that didn't hurt was good. In her experience, having an open heart meant it was only a matter of time before it was taken away.

"..Ah, Master! …" Rin's head snapped up as she found herself looking into Martha's concerned blue eyes. Rin tried not to wince around her. It was the purple hair Rin muttered to herself. It didn't matter that she knew better- every time her heart still leapt. It was stupid. She was stupid. Plastering a smile on her face she looked up Martha's face who then ushered Rin towards the massive Christmas tree that stood near them.

While Atalanta had a tree in their apartment, the other heroes had complained that they wanted to partake too. And since their small place, could not take that many heroes shoved into a small space, another larger and spectacular tree was set up for everyone else. Which brimmed with presents shimmering in the light. Allowing Martha to guide her, Rin found herself set down in front of a towering stack of shiny wrapped presents. Blinking Rin looked up questioningly into Martha's kind blue eyes who nodded and smiled as she handed her a large present.

Rin's eyes went wide with disbelief. Was all this for her? I mean at least a good amount. Glancing to the left of her, Atalanta nodded in permission. Last Christmas, she had been alone in her basement reading about magic. This year she was surrounded by Heroic Spirits who apparently decided she was worthy enough to shower gifts on her.

"Rin, are you okay?" Bedivere's soft voice said in her ear. Rin ran a sleeve over her face to wipe off the tears that were forming in the corners of her eyes. Smiling genuinely this time, she blinked up him.

"...I'm okay…" Rin looked down at the present in her lap. " ...I'm just really happy…"

* * *

Hope everyone has a warm and safe Holiday :)

Lets all hug emo Rin!


	34. Paper

Hope everyone had a great Christmas

* * *

The room was dark. It smelled of dusty tomes and magic . That was nothing new but on this night the air was heavy with intent . It's walls were silent as it was witness yet another miracle. Of sorts. A miracle that had been done 10 years before.

..I hereby swear…

The words rippled through.

...that I shall be all the good in the world…

Time and space.

...defeat all the evil in the world…

Rin woke with a start. Her head absolutely ached. Blinking, the world refocused in front of her. Cradling her pounding head, she moaned slightly. Rin looked over to Vlad who was calmly reading a thick tome. He arched an eyebrow over a pale eye as she collected herself. He didn't make any comments which Rin was grateful for. Rin apparently was still somewhere stuck before being awake and asleep as he pointed a finger at her face.

Oh how... embarrassing. The spell she had been trying to figure out was stuck to her face. And of course the drool.

Rin rubbed her cheek softly trying to regain some feeling back into it. She had been spending more and more time in the expansive library to research. Which is what she was attributing the headache's too but she was starting to wonder if it was really. As Rin took in a deep breath, her mind was racing- still trying to figure out where she went wrong. To be fair, she was making a lot of modifications but still! But in the process of spending hours arm deep in books is how she met Vlad. Whom she had unwittingly walked into. Rin, on her part found his tale fascinating. He of course spared no detail in telling her his real story vs the fiction that she had been taught. Glancing at a far away clock, Rin cringed.

It was late .

Oh boy..

A noise at the end of her long table make her look up. Berserker stood there. Looking quite unhappy. He had more often than once- found her in the library; past her bedtime. Which was not appreciated by her main caretakers. Normally, Berserker would have made Rin walk back to her room. In a small form of punishment. Stumbling over her own feet as she was always half asleep. But seeing as how Atalanta was freaking out at the room- He didn't say anything when Vlad picked up the child and started walking.

Sighing loudly, he looked at the mess Rin had made. While he should leave it overnight and make her come back to clean it up. He knew Rin would have an enormous fit about it. Spouting nonsense about being a magus and her research being important. Reaching out, he grabbed a smudged piece of paper.

Thermological conversion rate of output in correlation…

Berserker shook his head at the scribbling through out the paper. Rin had broken down magic to numbers and letters. Such a studious that one. The witch Semiramis certainly had Rin laden with books all the time. In his opinion, with her talent, Rin didn't need such things. A little guidance but life and time were the best teachers. Rin would never live up to her potential with so many restrictions put upon her. But Rin had been taught differently growing up. Rules and regulations ruled her magic.

What a pity.

Possibilities: Jewel of the Realm, Hope Diamond, Heart of the Ocean…

While, he was not accustomed to Rin's specific type of magic; he did know magic. As a Berserker his magic tended to be on the darker side. But that didn't mean that it didn't work. In fact, if you asked him it worked better than most. Surely, easier than whatever Rin was trying to figure out. Grunting, Berserker's eyes drifted down the paper. Grabbing Rin's nearby pen, he made a single note before he collected the rest of her things.

Such a troublesome child, his Master was.

* * *

I was debating between this chapter and another.

Also the jewels were from pop culture. Muhaha.


	35. One

Happy Early New Year!

Try not to get spoiled with all the extra chapters..j/k

* * *

Poison is an art.

It is for the bold. It takes a certain commitment to achieve your desired result in this manner. There is an poise to it all. An elegance. A certain air to the act of poison. It is not for cowards. Anyone can put a sword through someone or plan a coup d'etat. But this is a deception from start to finish. A ploy. An act to let someone trust you enough to get close and then betray them. Whether it is long or short, as the life slowly drains from your target it is a reflection. You can choose to let them know that it was you or play your part and walk away into the night never offering that last peace of mind. A secret to the grave. Whether the betrayal be for safety, country or purely just for spite. Poison is an act full of choices at every turn.

Though its practice and reputation may have been sullied through time, it is something you shape with your very hands. Patience, effort and a heart full of the darkest of impulses are all requirements. In its very roots, it combines the very basic principles of mage craft. After all, is it not simply a potion while albeit extremely deadly at its core. Ever witch, mage, warlock and wizard was taught how to craft a potion. Some just explored it more. Reveling in the beauty of its simplicity and its danger.

It did not take someone who magically inclined to learn it but in her humble opinion it helped. Rin was a child who was born to magic. It was in her blood. Semiramis could practically feel Rin's excitement and contentment as she taught the young child. Like a bee to a flower. Her work practically sang to the child. Whilst she was unsure if it just appealed to the child's darker side (which if you asked her needed some nurturing). Rin may have been magically disposed to learning but it was quite a welcome surprise that the child had a true understanding of it. Rin could see the logic, reasoning, the purpose of it all. She didn't give up. She kept pushing for greater and better. To be better and greater.

Semiramis had not disagreed when Rin had stated poison bordered on the darker side. She simply responded- did not all magic have its darker side? Was the girl's own family history not full of it? Or at least touching the very reaches? The whispers of what greatness awaited if you could only choose the path. A fine line of hate and love. And Semiramis had not doubt that it already whispered to Rin. Still so very young, it wasn't hard to see that this child had the potential, the drive and most of all the hatred she harbored so close to her heart. A child of two worlds. It was intoxicating, all that excess magic that the child attracted. It wasn't surprising to see so many heroes flock to the child. Whether conscious or unconscious- Rin's presence spoke of a magic lost somewhere from her time to Chaldea. And she did not question what secrets Rin kept to her heart. Every woman kept some. While she could have raised an eyebrow at some of the books Rin asked to borrow(for "research" of course), Semiramis did not push. If Rin wanted her help, she would ask. Some lessons had to be learned the hard way. Trail by fire if you would.

Semiramis let a smile grace her flawless face as Rin packed up her stuff for the day. A impressively hefty tome of plants and their uses tucked under her small arm. Rin was quite an ideal student. She was focused and diligent. Rin did not fear poison. It was such a joy so teach someone who actually appreciated her and her art. Someone who could take it to its limits; if she so chose too. She was sure that Rin could bring all her enemies to their feet- with the right guidance.

Perhaps in the future, Rin could would even be someone who could grow be worthy to walk aside her.

* * *

Not that I don't love a coup d'etat as the next person.

Omake(Extra Random Scene)- NYE- I didnt write a NY chapter but if I had it'd prb have this in it. 

Rin's cheerful laughter rang through the air just like the colorful streamers that drifted in the air. Her arms were up, eye lit up with glee as Atalanta lifted her in the air. In turn, Atalanta placed a soft kiss on Rin's temple as the time counted down. Rin's blue eyes were soft as she wrapped her arms around Atlanta's neck.


	36. Count

early!

* * *

Rin tapped her face absently as her mind worked. She considered the chances. The probability of it all. The history that came along with it. The era's and the magic that would be needed to make such a feat happen. After all what there the odds? Well that was that Rin was trying to figure out. She supposed coincidence could explain it but Rin didn't like to believe in things like that.

But perhaps some genetics were stronger than others. Her own was fairly similar. She looked very much like her parents. As did her sister. But that was a very direct connection. Easily traceable. Not at all complicated. It didn't explain across time and cultures. To Rin, it seemed almost implausible. But as a magus wasn't that just a mystery that needed to be explained? Rin was young but that didn't mean she was stupid. Though, being here suddenly in Chaldea has certainly thrown an unexpected wrench in things it didn't mean Rin changed her goals overall. In fact, it helped her set her mind even more. So many wondrous and mysterious things in the world.

Rin waved absently as Gawain limped by with Mash. She inwardly smirked. The after effects of the chaos at the cafeteria was still apparent. She didn't particularly blame them for avoiding the infirmary. Nightingale was a bit scary. And it wasn't like the weren't going to heal. It would just take a bit longer. Not that it had changed her mind in any way. Tapping her pen against the table, Rin tilted her head as she wrote out various equations. She had tried to work it out before but was rebuffed. It was possible they just didn't know. Or maybe they were actually right. But really...it was a bit ridiculous in her opinion. It was clear as day and yet everyone treated it like it was normal. Which in her very strong opinion it was NOT.

Sadly for Rin, she was having a losing streak in regards to spell work and overall problem working. While she had been doing well with Semaratis, learning about poisons and learning how to shape her excess magic properly it didn't seem to translate as well outside the classroom. Which made Rin very frustrated. Though she had noticed Berserker's note the next day which got her thinking. However, with this particular conundrum Rin was thinking of flying a white flag. In the grand scheme of things, it wasn't a big deal. Just something that nagged at her. Though she was doubtful she'd get a straight answer. It's not like Arthur had been super helpful.

Taking a breath, Rin decided to just go up and ask. She smiled widely and innocently as she handed Okita a bouquet of crystalline flowers that she had made earlier in the day as she slipped her hand into hers.

"..By any chance, did you have any descendants or relatives in England? Or France? Or anywhere else for that matter? Just because you and some others look A LOT alike..."

* * *

..in which Rin wonders why so many saber face.

Shortish chapter. I had a stressful day.

*Internet hugs*


	37. Wind

*waves*

* * *

Rin hummed happily as she grabbed a pretty pink flower to wrap in her flower wreath. Merlin was dozing peacefully next to her. Rin glanced up at the puffy white clouds of Avalon. A gentle wind make her inhale the sweet scented air of flowers. It really was a paradise.

Heed my words..

Rin's head turned sharply. Her hands froze as the wreath fell from her hands. Pink flower petals fluttering in the air.

My will creates your body..

These words. They were familiar. She had read them in her father's books. She knew what they were. She had memorized the words ever since her father had been chosen. For it was her birthright to also be a Master in the future. Rin knew these words by heart but…

It was the voice..

.. and your sword creates my destiny..

..that made her pause. But that wasn't possible?

"..Master are you alright?" came Merlin's sleepy voice as Rin blinked slowly before reaching down to pick up her fallen craft. She fingered the bruised petals before frowning and continuing.

Then Answer ME!

"..No...I...thought I heard something?" Rin whispered unsure if it was possible for dreams to merge together. I mean, what else could it be? Rin only saw Merlin in her dreams. But Rin knew the words were out of place here. Like the words belonged to another dream. Another place. Another time.

"Must be your imagination. There's no one here but you and me, Master" Merlin's yawning voice said as he laid back down onto the soft green grass. If Merlin didn't hear it maybe she was really going crazy. After all, wouldn't someone like him be able to tell? But it felt so real. Flames licking at her feet. The words of her future echoing. Was that worse? Being crazy or a frightful future. Rin's hands were shaking as she reached for a nearby flower to try to finish her probably ruined wreath. At the very least, it would be uneven.

" I see…"Rin finally said as she turned to face him. He opened a purple eye at her before closing it. "...Merlin, how come only I can visit you in dreams? I've been wanting to ask"

"You're special, Master. " he said with a tone of finality that only a great and legendary Magus could say.

Rin looked up back at the clouds overhead before looking at Merlin's sleeping form.

"..Am I, though?" She asked absentmindedly. Almost hopelessly.

In response, Merlin cracked open an eye again at hearing her tone before sighing and sitting up. He motioned for Rin to sit closer. He took her tattered flower wreath and studied it critically before sighing heavily.

"..I knew a girl once before. She was also special like you. Different but still very special…"

* * *

more internet hugs, pleaseee


	38. Again

an impromptu chapter

* * *

Atalanta dropped a kiss on top of Rin's head as she made her way into their shared apartment. Rin didn't even look up as she was preoccupied with the large tomes and papers that currently filled the living room. It was almost comical how cute Rin was when she was concentrating. Her brow was furrowed, her blue eyes laser focused on her notes and her dark hair pulled back haphazardly. The small child would blindly reach out for a book every once in a while. In this particular situation, Rin's hand was met with air. Her eyebrows shot up to her hairline as a look of annoyance crossed her face. The sheer effort of looking up was clearly evident as Rin scowled.

"Homework?"

Rin blinked owlishly as searched the room for the source of the voice. Her blue eyes questioning as it landed on Atalanta who waved from the couch. Rin sheepishly gave her a small smile before reaching across the table to grab the book she had been searching for. Rin blew her bangs from her face as she greeted Atalanta who repeated her question as she pointed to the mess around them. Rin had more or less taken over the entire room.

"Something like that..." Rin's soft voice said. "Just some light reading..." She made a face at the books which made Atalanta laugh. Rin smiled at the at sound. She had been on a non stop research and reading binge. When she got into these run's Rin pretty much shut out everything and everyone. Time slipped away from her. Rin would spend hours in the library or basically anywhere she could spread out and lose herself. Glancing at the clock behind Atalanta, it seemed as if she missed dinner today. Then as if on cue, Rin's stomach grumbled in hunger.

"Don't worry, Berserker said he'd bring you back something. "

Rin ducked in her in embarrassment at the words. Had she been so engrossed that she hadn't even noticed his presence? Apparently so, since he knew she'd be hungry when she finally came up from the hole of research she had burrowed herself into. Rin knew if failure was any measure of success, than Rin was certainly due for a win. But Rin being Rin had gotten somewhat sidetracked after finding a footnote in a rather obscure text. It wasn't that Rin had been surprised. It had just gotten the gears in her head working.

"Make any progress?"

A frown made its way to Rin's face as she ran her hands over the book in her hands. It wasn't a book she would have normally looked at. Just a fairly simple book on magical theories and what not. Something not particular essential to her current research but it solidified something she had already known deep down. It wasn't even a famous magician who wrote the book. She supposed it was helpful in the end- if anything just to confirm her suspicions.

"I just wanted to check something..." Rin looked back down at her notes. "...Turns out I was right all along."

Atalanta titled her head waiting for Rin to continue. For it seemed it was something that Rin wanted to say aloud.

"..Just that magic..." Lowering her eyes, Rin closed her eyes for a moment, holding the book close to her chest before smiling sadly. "... comes from pain…"

* * *

If anyone needs a show to watch: The Magicians on Syfy(Also on Netflix) is awesome. It inspired this chapter which is where the quote came from.


	39. Turn

Happy Lunar New Year!

* * *

In all honesty and truth, Rin was an exceptionally affectionate person. When both her parents had been alive, she basked in their praise and love. When Sakura had still been around, she thrived on being the person she looked up too. Rin was a child who loved to be loved and offered it freely in return. She was a precocious child but she hoped with every fiber of her being to stay in her warm bubble of warmth and happiness forever.

But life doesn't always go the way we want them too. So, her once large heart was soon chipped away little by little by pain and tragedy. Each piece stabbing her with regret and pain. Eventually, her heart had scabbed over and Rin made a decision. Rin couldn't hurt if she closed herself off. Soon enough, she distanced herself from her friends and cultivated an image of a school idol. Always on top of her work, independent, polite to a fault but always- always an arms length away.

Magic is a truly wondrous thing and filled with endless possibilities. In turn, she willingly chose to lose herself in it. It was a lonely and solitary existence. And she was better for it. She would honor her fathers legacy. At least that's what she'd tell herself. But with each spell mastered, each triumph, each victory; it was all hollow. With each small step, Rin had started to wonder. That had been her first mistake. To wonder. To dream. To regret. To fear. Rin tried very hard not to be afraid of much. In her opinion, she couldn't afford to fear. It would do her no good. If she gave in, all those feelings she locked away would overwhelm her. To wonder about all the decisions she made and the ones that had been made for her. If any of them had been the right thing to do.

If Tohsaka Rin had been anyone else, she might have been able to close her heart. But waking up to the silence in her house was absolutely heartbreaking. The silence was deafening. The stillness, the emptiness and the simple lack of life only reminded her of a life she once had. Memories of a happy household would haunt her at every turn. Even pushing herself to near points of exhaustion every night wasn't enough. Even when she fell asleep in her basement, her dreams were filled with her sister's smiles and her parents adoration. Deep down, underneath all her loud words and posturing, Rin had always known it was a pointless battle after all.

What was it that the poets said?

Stoically, Rin watched as the smoke dissipated rose from the ground as a feather burned brightly. Not even batting an eye, she reached for her the spell she had finally crafted to hopeful perfection- murmuring to light it on fire before letting it drop onto the floor. It burned intensely as Rin studied her work. Rin nodded approvingly as the fire turned blue before dissipating. Rin ran her her fingers over the jewel that was in her lap. It was truly beautiful. Rin's eyes were blank as she watched it melt in her hand- dripping slowly from her hand onto the floor. It's red liquid seeping into the circle she had drawn onto the floor. Her voice was low and clear as she chanted. Once. Twice. Thrice.

That love is all there is, Is all we know of love

A slow smile spread onto's Rin's face as the floor lit up.

* * *

Welp...

Adventure Time.

Buckle up!

(No pitchforks in the future pls)


	40. First

**...no pitchforks~**

* * *

When you wield magic, you pose a question. A question you put forth and hope the universe to answer. After all, magic has an inherently wild quality. If magic could be personified it would be mysterious. Reacting in the most oddest of ways. Endless loopholes and unseen consequences. So much so, that even the greatest of magicians have spent most of their lives devoted just trying to understand magic and its foundations. Trying to make sense of what little knowledge they do possess. The endless pursuit to reach for knowledge. Trying to push past their limits. To see what shouldn't be seen. To reveal what shouldn't be revealed.

To say that heroic spirits knew of magic was probably an understatement. After all, many of them had been notable magicians in their own right. Some even the shadows of the gods of old. Wielding the kind of power that made mortals weep. But at their very core, in Chaldea, in this time and place they were inherently only "existing" due to the meddling of greedy human magicians. The ones who didn't accept their oncoming demise. The ones who wanted more. The ones who even in the face of extinction still strove to wield power. Even if they shouldn't. The lengths that they would go to, was simply astounding to a non magical person. Perhaps, even bordering on insanity. After all, what normal person welcomes greatness at the cost of possible madness and folly. Anyone who was magically inclined knew this.

_Atalanta inhaled slowly._

It would be hard to fully put into words the way magic feels. Especially when it's done to you. The way it spreads over you. The way it rushes over you. Envelopes you. The way it overwhelms you. Especially when its not of your doing. More so, if its someone you know doing it you. It's like fighting against a riptide mixed with a hurricane. Some struggle and fight until their dying breath. And sometimes even beyond that. In this case, when the magic rushed at her, Atalanta was prepared to fight.

But then...

...underneath the rush, she felt it.

**Rin**

So...she closed her eyes and let it whisk her away.

When she opened them again, sunlight filtered in through the tall and beautiful trees that surrounded her. The air was crisp, fresh but most of all clean. She could practically taste it on her tongue. While she was not a Caster, it wasn't like she didn't know magic, it was different. It was not filled with the stench of death. It was light. The cheerful chirping of birds and nearby animals chattering by. It was peaceful and quiet.

And it was absolutely _wrong_.

"...Where the hell am I?"

* * *

Sorry its a little slowwwwww

I am forewarning everyone- we might take some unexpected twists and turns. It may not be to everyone's taste's but lets refrain from any negativity.


	41. Hearth

I wrote an rewrote this chapter a lot.

Anyone still here?

* * *

_..my wish ..._

Atalanta paused in mid step as she turned her head. Strange. Scanning her surroundings, she didn't see anything or anyone. She could have swore she heard something. Waiting for a moment more just in case, she shrugged and raised her arms over her head for a slow stretch. Her eyes involuntarily closing as she took a long breath.

_...is only one.._

The fragrance of pine and fir filled her lungs, helping her entire being to calm just a little. It wasn't just the trees, it was the smell of damp dirt, the sweet aroma of flowers, the tart smell of distant fruit orchards and the noise of the animals that made her reminiscent. She breathed in the magic that danced in the air. Growing up, the forest she had been raised always had the scent of Artemis. The scent of the Gods. Power and oppression. She would know it anywhere. But the magic in this place? It was familiar but it was nothing like what she had grown up with. Being back in such a familiar place reminded her of happier times in her childhood. Though it had been certainly tumultuous and ultimately ended in tragedy, it didn't mean there hadn't been nice even wonderful moments.

._. that is..._

And it would have been enough, to enjoy whatever this was if not for that knot that kept trying to form in her stomach. It was hard though. With every step, she felt lighter. More at peace. As she kept wandering through the plentiful and lush forest, Atalanta felt her worries trying to slip away. Or at least they tried too when she attempted to concentrate on them. But it was getting harder. Harder to remember anything else but feeling the sun on her skin and the wind in her hair. It was calling to her. Beckoning her. Whispering to her.

_..for children.._

Atalanta tried to focus on..before. Where she had been before this. Filled with...other adventurers? No, that wasn't quite right. Filled with other hunters? That wasn't right either. Fighting the urge to just let the thoughts go, Atalanta yelped as she stumbled over a tree root. She gritted her teeth as her hands broke her fall. Taking a moment to collect herself, she sat back on her heels as she examined her hands for injury. Nothing. Her hands were still clean and unbroken. Her brow furrowed as she frowned at the tree root she had tripped over. She raised an eyebrow at a black ribbon lay crumpled next it to on the ground. Strange. In a forest and lush as this- for surely it was out of place here.

._.everywhere._.

Atalanta took a moment trying to remember what she had been thinking a moment before. Atalanta ran a hand through her hair in frustration. Pushing herself up to the feet, she started to walk again. Her feet carrying her away. She had only made it a small distance before she found herself back at the tree root picking up the ribbon she had disregarded a few moments ago. She ran her fingers over the smooth material. It felt familiar and maybe even warm? It was as if it was on the tip of her tongue, something at the very edge of her conscious that seemed to be missing.

_..to be blessed._

"Atalanta!" came a distant voice.

Startled, she looked up and around her. Lost in her thoughts, she had somehow walked out of of the denser parts of the forest and into a small marketplace- not unlike those she had seen in her youth. She wondered how lost in her thoughts she had been or if the forest had really been much smaller than she had thought. Surely, she had tried to run and see its reach, hadn't she? Slightly more anxious at not remembering, she found herself rubbing the ribbon in her fingers as she tried to recall. It was only then, she had realized that the towns person, a woman, dressed in attire that had been popular when she had been young had been talking to her. Friendly. As if though, she was supposed to know who was. But then again, she did have an air of familiarity about her. It was only then that she caught the the tail end of the women's words.

"...what?" Atalanta whispered. Her green eyes wide and in shock. If the woman noticed, she did not let on. Smiling and gesturing to the ribbon that was in Atalanta's hand.

"..Rin? Did she lose her ribbon again? I swear, your daughter must get into as much trouble as my son! Always running about!" The woman chuckled as she threw a wink at Atalanta. "In a few years, I'm sure he'll be the one chasing her though!"

While the woman chattered on, the world had come crashing on Atalanta. Everything had come rushing back to her. She had been in Chaldea. A girl misplaced in time. Her blue eyes. Her hand in hers. Tucking her into bed. Rin's laughter, her anger, her sorrow, her happiness, her frustrations. The rush of overwhelming magic of a spell washing over her. And then, being here. Where ever this was. Her hand gripped Rin's ribbon in her hand tightly. But what this was- she had an inkling.

"...Where did you say.." Atalanta tried not to choke on the words "..my daughter was?" as she interrupted the woman. Not seeming surprised at the sudden interruption she smiled and pointed off in the distance.

"Paying respects to the goddess of course!"

Running off before the woman could speak anymore, Atalanta's mind was racing.

What had she _done_?

How was it _possible_?

This wasn't how it was _supposed_ to...

Sprinting up the stairs, Atalanta forced herself to not answer her last thought. Deep down in the depths of her heart and mind; she knew better. Magic never goes the way you expect it too. Physically compelling herself to breathe as she practically stumbled into the temple. Large bonfires adorned the great hall as she scanned for a certain black haired child among the praying individuals. Many girls were pledged to the service of the goddess but she wouldn't have done that. Not to Rin. Not in any dreams, nightmare or wish. Rushing forward her hands reached out at the sight of familiar dark haired blue eyed girl. Rin's eyes were wide as she looked up at Atalanta.

"Rin.." Atalanta asked gently as she hugged the girl to her. "..What did you do?"

Those soul piercing blue eyes looked up at her with a confused expression.

"...I didn't plan on all this. It wasn't supposed to be like this. I just wanted to see!" Her blue eyes drifted to the ribbon that was in Atalanta's hand. "...But..isn't this what you want?" Rin titled her head as Atalanta tried to form words. "...Isn't this **your** wish?"

Because the fact is; it was. Or at least just a little bit. Deep down somewhere in the deepest reaches of her very soul- hadn't she wanted to save Rin? But more than that. Rin deserved a better life. Better than what she had grown up with and better than what she'd return too. Rin had been a balm to her empty heart when she had appeared. She had been what Atalanta's subconscious had wanted. Something that been been missing. And she was selfish, she knew. Rin didn't belong to her. It was probably why she had felt her troubles try to melt away here. Now it made more sense, while the magic was very Rin- everything else had been from Atalanta. From the forest to the town. Whatever magic Rin had done, it had tried to soothe all her pain and sorrow. To entice her to this world that she kept locked in her heart. Adapting itself to her whims and wants. A life for them. Together. Far away from Holy Grail Wars and destiny.

"...It's nice.." Rin said as she reached for the ribbon that Atalanta was clutching in her hand and gave her a sad smile "...but it's not **mine**."

* * *

That was a long chapter for me! I hope I did well at it!

I don't want to give too much away but clearly(hopefully) wish fulfillment going on here. And OH..Rin that last line- isn't Atalanta's wish good enough? Jeez man.


	42. Feather

...an onward we go

* * *

It's** odd**

Atalanta thought to herself the things you notice when you know everything around you is more or less fake. Or more importantly the things you're willing to overlook. Things you pass off as deja vu or just your imagination. The flicker of a tree or the cat you thought you saw twice. You blink and then everything looks the way it should. For what was reality; really? What made this any less real? After all, she had been technically dead for centuries. Her whole existence nowadays coming down to a magical rivalry between three families and its subsequent consequences. A family linage that Rin was apart of. Was it really just a coincidence? But who was she to argue that after everything- all she had lived through, all the things she had done, the things done to her- that this wasn't what she deserved?

"No, Rin not that one. More like this." she said absently as she picked up a more ripe nectarine from the merchant stall. "See, it's more firm. That's ready to eat." Atalanta placed the nectarine into the basket that had suddenly appeared in Rin's hands. She had started to comment about it but gave up entirely as they walked through the merchant stalls. The spicy scents and vibrant colors invaded her senses. It was a familiar and safe place but she could see the rough edges of things fading and other things appearing. In a way it was astonishing the sheer magnitude of it all. The way everything shaped around them. Just an ordinary but pleasant outing. A trip to the marketplace with her "daughter". A gift from the gods is apparently how Rin came to be with her in this hoax. And Atalanta laughed when she heard. Whether it was from desperation, disbelief, grief or even joy she couldn't tell you.

_If only it was true._

"..Rin, how is it possible that you're…" Atalanta considered the right words without offending the magus. "...channeling all this?"

Her subconscious was trying to pull her into this lie fueled by the magic of one little girl. While Rin was certainly skilled and powerful for her age she didn't have the capability. Rin didn't have the magical energy to pull off something like this. Not of this magnitude. Rin for her part did seem to be tiring but definitely not at the rate as the world kept reshaping around them. Rin, for her part seemed only mildly surprised at the question. Shuffling her feet back and forth as her grip tightened on the basket that held several pieces of fruit and food.

"...I kept failing. Again and again. I didn't know what I was doing wrong. I was researching but..." Rin confessed with a glum expression. "..I just wasn't strong enough to cast the spell. Not the way I wanted too." Rin fidgeted with the basket, looking down and then finally back at Atalanta's as she reluctantly continued "..Not my own, at least. I needed a catalyst. A strong one..." she trailed off slowly.

"This was about your sister, Sakura wasn't it?" Atalanta said quietly as she moved to another stall. Rin kept her head downward as she nodded and trotted along after her.

Atalanta for her part thought she was doing an excellent job at being a very calm and mature adult even though she really wanted to berate Rin till the end of time. Even if this wasn't what Rin had intended. Rin had not reached out for help. With something that was so clearly over her head. Not to mention practicing unpredictable spells with little to no supervision. Because Gil in her opinion did not count as supervision. He was so caught up in the girl to notice anything until it was too late and even then that particular version of Gilgamesh was not a caster. At the very least she would need to have a serious talk with Semiramis about Rin's studies. Because it was clear that Rin needed more: more boundaries, more rules, more anything and if need be a Grand Caster to enforce it. Atalanta would make sure of that when this all ended. Rin had been so _foolish_ and utterly _selfish_ with all was. She couldn't even imagine the damage if Rin had succeeded in her own wish. How devastating it would have been. Because this was unbelievably hard for Atalanta. Each breath in this farce was a sharp pain to her heart. How each step was a stark contrast of how her actual life had been. But most of all how with each moment it was just a reminder that **they** could **never** have this. After a long moment, Atalanta managed to collect herself again.

"Rin, how long..?" Atalanta asked half unsure of what answer she wanted as she peered at the midday sun. Rin looked up at her following her line of sight.

"..Sundown." she said with a finality.

Atalanta nodded as she took the basket from Rin and wrapped her hand around Rin's smaller one. She paused for a moment looking around them taking it all in. Inhaling slowly at the sights and sounds; she wouldn't see this place again. Then purposely, she started to guide them away from the marketplace. Rin gave her a questioningly look as they walked. People became more scarce and tree clustered more around them. Cheerful flowers and lavish greenery lined their path. Atalanta was silent on their walk, not commenting on the frequency as things faded and popped up around them. Soon enough, all sounds of a bustling city was gone and it was replaced with the friendly chattering of forest animals and sunlight paths.

"Just big enough for two." Atalanta announced softly, as they stood in front of a brick path leading up to a small cottage. It was as she said. A small cottage with bright blue shutters surrounded by a small fence. It was everything fairy tales told of.

"Would you give me a minute?" Atalanta said absently, clearly focused on the image that stood before them. A large and faded colorful flower wreath hung on the door.

Rin's eyes softened as Atalanta let go her her hand and walked towards the cottage. Her back straight and her eyes forward as if she was forcing herself not to look back at Rin. And honestly, she probably was. Despite that Rin had never intended this to happen. That Rin would never ever want to hurt Atalanta in any way. Especially this way. Atalanta was strong, beautiful, kind but most of all she had a wonderful and big heart. It was something that connected them. It was the way Atalanta cared for her. Loved her. If anything, Atalanta would have been the _last person_ she would have wanted to hurt. It's why she had chosen Atalanta's feather as one of her catalysts. Her personal connection to her would boost her spell. Apparently too much, it seemed. But in all her research she wouldn't have predicted this. Rin wondered if this would change everything when it all faded. And if it did, would be all her fault. Because she hadn't been strong enough.

**Again**.

Sighing softly, her feet guided her a small distance away to the oddly brightly colored flowers. She considered them for a moment before she started picking the biggest and prettiest ones she could find. Settling herself on the green grass she started making a new flower wreath for the door. It was funny. Rin never made them in reality but she was fast becoming an expert in dreams and fake realities. How very ironic. Rin tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear before going back to work. Rin could feel the magic in everything. It was practically vibrating. At first it had been exhilarating. A rush. But as the day wore on and sundown approached, she could feel a tug. Whispers in the shadows. She could feel it. Under her skin and in her blood. Getting stronger as time wore on. The cracks that were forming in this happy place.

And then, lost in her thoughts, her wreath finished- Rin found herself walking hesitantly up to the cottage. Slowly, she replaced the faded wreath with the one she had made. Taking a deep breath, Rin pushed the door open and her way inside. Inside it was warm and filled with the smell of fresh bread. Sunlight streamed in from the windows and Atalanta stood by a wooden table laying out a meal.

" This looks delicious." Rin said quietly as she offered a flower to Atalanta before sitting down at the table.

Atalanta smiled slowly before nodding and sitting down. An unspoken agreement between the two- in this moment, in this wish, in this hoax, in this dream- they decided to believe. Just for a little bit. So they laughed, they ate, sang songs but all things must come to an end. Shadows started to become darker and the sunlight started to fade. The whispers in the dark were now talking to her. Loudly. Telling her all sorts of things. Despite this, Rin's eyes started to droop down slowly as the fringes of her vision started to darken. Swaying unsteadily, she sat down heavily leaning against Atalanta who had moved to sit next to her. She was warm. The cottage started to double in her blurry eyes. Suddenly, Rin felt very tired. The pull into oblivion was spiraling fast towards her. Sweat started to bead on her forehead. Atalanta's catalyst had reached its peak and this world, this dream; this wish was coming to an end. But Rin needed to say something before it all faded. With great difficulty, she made her mouth work to force the words out as the objects started to disperse into nothing.

"...I _would_ have been **happy**." Rin whispered. "We would have been happy." Her voice cracking as she said it.

Atalanta smiled sadly as she pushed Rin's bangs from her face and wrapped her arm around Rin whispering back.

"Yes, we really would have been."

* * *

..awwww. No pitchfork pls! If these type of chapters aren't your cup of tea, just bear with it for a little bit. I honestly am unsure how I doing with long chapters- they take a lot- I might not be good at them. Testing out how fuller chapters work for me.

And not knocking Kid Gil in skills in any way. Just there's a Rin shaped blind spot! But in his defense, he probably didn't even think she'd be able to cast anything like this.

Sorry we didn't stay in Atalanta land too long. So course a lot of unresolved things and the sort. If Atalanta had been a better state of mind, she'd probably ask a bunch more questions. But whatcha gonna do? Hopefully it works itself out ;P

Places to go. Things to do.


	43. Fort

..into the wild blue yonderrrrr.

* * *

Cú Chulainn was fishing.

It was a hobby that he enjoyed quite much. Both when he had been alive and one he still enjoyed it in his afterlife. Perhaps it was the sense of calmness that came over him or the simple fact that he was very skilled at it. It had been especially useful when he had been alive, providing much needed subsistence and a way to just zone out; if just for a little bit. He enjoyed fishing but sadly he had not had much chance to do so while in Chaldea. It was perhaps one of the few things he still had in common with his other counterparts. Before all their paths had diverged resulting in very different lives. Different people. Different heroes- though he'd never call himself a hero. Not that he'd ever would have wanted to sit down and discuss it with them.

That was a simply _ridiculous_ idea.

As he eyed the blue water, Cú rolled his shoulders in irritation. He titled his head as he felt another wave of magic gently pushing at him. Acting as if the magic was a corporeal being he growled lightly at it. He knew what it wanted but he tried not to give it any more than he had unknowingly already did. One moment he had been waking up slowly up a nap and the next he was in this _place_. His eyes swiftly beheld all that was around him and he knew instantly. That this was not **right**. He could see the tendrils of magic twisting and turning itself around him. Clearly he was in a spell but more than that- the air practically hummed in anticipation. For as impossible as it was, everything from the water to the blue sky seemed to be waiting. Like a rubber band waiting to snap. Tense. But he knew that it wasn't something that the world seemed to be waiting for. It was **who** it was waiting for.

Specifically, a small dark haired blue eyed child.

_ Rin. _

Which is who he was waiting for. And oh the **scolding** she was going to get when she did. If he had to guess, his little magus had been grossly miscalculated in her spell work. He could see Rin's messy spell work refolding reality around him. While it was certainly not up to par with the reality marbles of heroic spirits -it was certainly _curious_. A mishmash of spells were weaving itself using him as a semi-core basis. While he thought he had seen an earlier version of the spell he assumed she used, Rin had definitely taken it up various notches. He could almost be proud of her incorporating his rune work if he hadn't been dragged into it. On the other hand, she clearly hadn't made the right conversions when using rune work which was probably why he could see the patterns around him. She could definitely use a more extensive learning experience about Celtic magic. He did have to admit, there was some things he didn't recognize in the air. Disappearing when he tried to look at them. Which was quite _strange_.

Now, if he had been anyone else, he might have gone searching for her, if only to keep his eye on her. This was not a place that she should be wandering. His thoughts belonged _only_ to him and he did not appreciate this experience. But judging how by the magic that he could see, she would end up finding him. After all, this was about him, wasn't it? More or less. So, he would stay here, fishing and eventually she would find him.

"Berserker!"

Ah. Right on time. Well, _of course_.

Her voice carried on the wind. He didn't bother to look behind him as he could hear her running footsteps barreling through the tall grass. He still didn't look up when he heard her eventually panting next to him. He could feel her trembling form though he wasn't sure if it from fear, strain or something else entirely. He pointed to the smaller fishing pole that had materialized next to her, gesturing her to sit with him. Why waste a perfectly good fishing trip when he didn't have too? He could always yell at her later. He heard her intake a shaky breath before settling down next to him- holding the pole awkwardly in her small hands. Letting out a huff, he reached over to fix her hands. For more than a few moments, Rin opened and closed her mouth wanting to speak but not finding the right words. She didn't know what to say and to be honest, he was more than happy to just enjoy the clear sky and blue water of this lake. It had not been a lake he remembered. It was better. It was likely based on something from Rin's knowledge of the her world but it did have a nice variety of fish. Though he suspected that was more from him he mused absently.

"...Your hands.." Rin finally said quietly as she broke into his thoughts.

Berserker blinked and then took a long drag of the cigarette that had suddenly appeared in his mouth. He had stopped smoking around the little girl due to an abundance of whining from a bunch of heroes in Chaldea. Then due to his ongoing almost constant proximity to her, he had more or less given it up. But here? It felt simply wonderful. Even if it was fake.

"Before I was a monster; Berserker.." he said as he took another puff of the cigarette. "..I was just a man."

Yes, in here. He was just a **man**. Well a demi- god but still a man. No claws. No spikes. No tail. Less rune work. Rin was silent at this revelation. He supposed she hadn't considered the possibility but then again he was sure she hadn't counted on a lot. And he could see it, literally, the magic pulsing around the girl. He could almost snort as the magic clung to her. Like a parasite. But Rin was a child of her circumstances. A child of magic- she grew up being taught that magicians were stronger. Smarter. Simply _better _than others. So despite the enormous guilt she felt dragging him and _apparently_ others into this; it was very slowly being eroded by her ambition. Her heart and her brain were already fighting each other. He could see her churning the turn of events over in the head; weighing on her conscience. But the fact of the matter was, the gears were already turning over in her head on the factors she had miscalculated, the research had needed to be done and above all when she could attempt to do it all again. Only this time; correctly. Her thirst for knowledge would never allow this to be. No, Rin would continue to push her limits as far as she could go. And beyond that. Even if she shouldn't. Magicians liked to believe that they answered to a higher calling. If only to use it as a way to excuse their actions. At least that's what her magic was seemed to be saying.

"What of mine did you use?" he asked finally. Powerful magic such as this normally needed something more than simple intent. It needed a catalyst or totem or some sort. Maybe even more. He could see that their relationship had been a key factor in fueling all of this. How ironic. This had all started just trying to annoy his other counterparts and yet here he was, one of her closest companions. Rin nodded slowly before she spoke.

"The paper you wrote on. It had your rune work on it." Rin said as her shoulders slumped.

"You melded multiple spells." Berserker stated as he traced the air, magic swirling around his hand. Rin watched with wide eyes as he did so. She sent him a questioningly look as she looked around them.

_Interesting_.

So, she couldn't see her work. What a pity. It would have been easier if she could. Then he could have asked about the oddness of certain aspects of the spell. Not that he had any confidence that she could have probably answered any of them. Though he wasn't entirely sure she would have pleased with the fact that it was currently displaying her darker thoughts to him.

"That's dangerous if you don't know how to adjust for them correctly" he said pointedly before he looked back onto the lake. "What were you trying to do?"

"For shadows to be seen." Rin whispered as she watched the waves ripple. Berserker waited for her to continue because it wasn't just that. "..and for quiet things to be heard."

* * *

Gosh Rin.

P.S: I have a headache rn so some editing might happen later.


	44. Rune

Hope everyone is staying healthy out there!

* * *

Waves rippled gently in the wind. The sun was low in the clear sky. It's last rays of sunshine were still warming two particular occupants who were currently wrestling to reel in an quite impressively large fish. Shouts of alarm and laughter filling the quiet air. Their voices full of affection and mirth. If one hadn't known better, you would have thought that it was have been just a perfectly ordinary day enjoyed by the two. But all too soon, the sounds of laughter died down, leaving only the sounds of a hollow world.

"..Atalanta, she by the house?" Berserker asked finally as he finally dropped the large fish into a bucket next to him. One thing that was good about all this. It gave what you asked. Well _almost_. He spared a glance at Rin who was looking at him slightly bewildered.

"Uh..how did you know?" she stammered. Berserker shrugged as he settled back down into his seat. To be fair, he had thought it was rather obvious. Of course, he had a small place to call his own in here. After all, Rin had come running to him from _somewhere_. He had assumed she had been at his house. A place where every problem was checked at the door. A place just to rest. While, he didn't particularly enjoying having to share it, it was probably best that Atalanta stay there.

"It's easy enough to sense her presence." He said simply as he went about recasting his fishing pole. A new lit cigarette appearing in this mouth as Rin fell silent again. Her posture becoming more and more stiff as he worked in the ongoing silence. Her small hands were curled into fists in her lap. The blue water reflecting in her eyes as they stared ahead. Taking a moment, he inhaled slowly, Berserker looked over at the girl and watched as magic rushed to cling to her. He could see the magic sucking up the energy she was expelling. At an increasing pace. It seemed the more time went by, the more it was drawing from her. Even with his catalyst, Rin was being stretched thin. She didn't have the knowledge or continued strength to keep this hoax up. Spells always fed into strength. Considering how botched up this spell was; he supposed it was simple luck it hadn't gone worse. At the very least, Atalanta and somewhat surprisingly himself had relatively "safe" desires. But he'd bet anything that Atalanta's wish even had a place for Rin in it. Yes, it could have gone a lot worse. But that wasn't to say it was going well. No, none of this was what he considered "well". He frowned as Rin turned her head as if something had caught her attention before turning back to the water.

"Shadows?" Berserker said casually as Rin tried to look over her shoulder discreetly. Blinking she looked back at him before shaking her head curtly.

"Do you see something?"

Rin for her part didn't seemed surprised at the question. In fact, it seemed to make her more tired. She unclenched her hands very slowly before answering in a flat tone. Small lines of concentration formed on her forehead as forced herself to stay still.

"No."

"Or were you hoping for something?" He questioned further. Rin's eyes stayed fixated on the water. Her face hardening into a blank expression.

"..No." she said again.

A **Lie**.

Except this time, her voice cracked slightly when she had said it. He didn't know why Rin was trying to deny it. She was disappointed. Upset. Angry. Though he wasn't sure exactly what she had been hoping to see. But he assumed it was her sister. Not him or Atalanta. As the spell wore on, it was clear that whatever Rin had wanted; she wasn't going to get it. And nothing in this world her belonged to her. Not enough to matter. Sure, the intent of her magic had started it all but it had twisted into something she hadn't planned on. It wasn't listening to her. Not in that way she wanted. Not even a little. Or perhaps it was the ongoing realization. That the spell had channelled their strength instead of hers because she was never going to be enough. The spell had more or less decreed she didn't deserve to see the thoughts that lurked in the darkest reaches of her heart. She was weak. Maybe even weaker than she had ever thought possible. Just as she always feared. This was probably the reason, Rin was trying to cut herself off from her emotions. Effectively shutting down till all this passed and then Rin could suppress everything entirely. Like the good little magician she had been taught to be.

Berserker flicked his cigarette into the air and watched as it faded into nothing. He considered whether or not to push further or wait until he had Atalanta around to have as a buffer. Not that he couldn't handle it himself but on the other hand- he was not sure he would enjoy some of the more emotional states of Rin. Atalanta loved to coddle the girl. She probably wasn't even that upset with the girl. But this wasn't a time to tip toe around the girl and her obvious issues. Doing it so far had clearly made it worse. Compounding into Rin trying to take hands in her own matters. Resulting in this giant mess. She needed to hear it. He wasn't trying to be unkind but magicians who messed with things beyond their comprehension didn't tend to last long. Not out there in the real world. And one day Rin would have to go back to that.

"It wouldn't have been her." Berserker said finally, keeping his tone as gentle as he could. He could see Rin try not to flinch at his statement.

Her hands clenching again in her lap. He raised an eyebrow at the sheer willpower it was taking the girl not to react more. Rin was listening he knew by the tension she was giving off. Her body coiled as if ready to strike him or pass out from exhaustion. Rin had already been straining before and it was simply asking more than she had to give. He had meant the words to ground Rin. To remind her. Even if it was hard to hear and harder to digest. For it was easy for magicians to get lost in things such as this. Rin would continue to live a different path than her sister. Now and the foreseeable future. That was the truth. Rin couldn't live her life chasing after shadows and dreams that wouldn't come to fruition. The damage it could have done. His words however seemed to have the opposite effect on Rin. Whether it was because Rin just didn't have the mental or physical energy to maintain everything or she decided it was easier to give up- she slumped forward her hands gripping the grass, tears forming in her eyes. Berserker inwardly cursed as he watched Rin say his words slowly.

_It.._

_wouldn't.._

_have.._

_been.._

_HER._

"..I wasn't trying to.. but it doesn't matter anymore..." Rin said as tears streamed down her face.".. It'll never be her. Not that way it should be."

She let out a small cry of pain as she shook her head furiously as if trying to deny the tears that were flowing freely. Rin punched the ground. And then again. Again. Again. Again. If it had been real life, her hands and knuckles would have been bloodied and cracked but here, they stayed pristine and clean. At this sight, Rin burst into more tears. He moved to try to comfort her but unfortunately for Rin, time had run out. The sun's last rays faded over them as chunks of their surroundings started to break into pieces and dematerialize. Whatever words she was going to say next was lost as she disappeared before his eyes.

Her look of anguish stayed with him as the world faded around him.

* * *

Oh...it's going to get even more angsty up in here.


	45. Desert

Hope everyone is staying healthy and safe! Sorry I'm a little behind. It's been really tough at work.

Please remember that virus's don't have nationalities. They affect everyone.

Note: Keep an open mind :) I've only seen bits/pieces of FGO.

* * *

Colorful banners of shimmering gold and vivid blue fluttered in the air. The fragrant scent of flowers wafted through the air. The almost deafening chatter of excitement rose high up in the sky. A shared sense of exhilaration and pride flowing through every citizen who had come out; which by the looks of the crowd seemed to be every man, woman and child. After all, it was a most blessed day. One that no one wanted to miss.

Then, perhaps dressed in his finest attire- a bard of no great importance stepped forward from the crowd with bated breath. His attention turning to the procession in the distance. Their sheer splendor radiating for miles around them. To his credit, he only trembled a little as he gave a deep bow. A slow hush had broken out behind him as he waited for permission to continue. The bard could feel the weight of the crowd's eyes behind him. One did not offend the divine. Then, in the distance after a pause, the barest of nods.

An acquiescence. And with only just the slightest of quiver he his voice he launched into a most wondrous tale.

"The gate was built to be grand. A mighty and splendid display. Tall and wide. Made of the finest glazed bricks laden with trims of gold. A visual feast for the eyes to behold. Such a labor was not an easy one. It took many moons for it to be built. But for **glory** ? For **devotion**? Nothing but a trifle! It was made to be a thing of opulence and beauty- if only to be even the smallest bit of worthy.

For the goddess of heaven, of beauty, of war and of love. One who could not be compared. One whose feet did not touch the ground. Her voice is melodic and wonderful. Filling men and women alike with wondrous purpose. Her eyes shine bright like the morning sun. Her smile is like stars in the night. A goddess of the never ending skies. A goddess that truly shines in heaven.

To behold her- is to behold perfection.

Ishtar

For it is such an honor, to have such an esteemed goddess of the heavens bestow her patronage upon this grand city state of Babylonia. She has blessed our many victories in battles. The city blossoms under her care! The city thrives under her grace! The growth of our crops! The Births of sons and daughters! **Blessed be are we**! We are truly a city guided by the heavens! For her love and affection is felt in every citizen….

….. but no more than our favored ruler.

**Our Mighty King!**

For the greatest blessing that was bestowed upon the great city was not one of wealth or beauty but of love! A plea from our child king, Gilgamesh! From her humble temple he did send his wish- a most heartfelt desire. A wish that moved the hearts of even the most steadfast! In her everlasting wisdom and clairvoyance- Granted to our king! To grant our gracious kingdom everlasting glory! A child bestowed upon us! A **vessel**. A most cherished gift! With hair dark as night and eyes blue as the summer sky! A child to share the heart of our beloved king till the promised day!

Pure and blessed by none other than the heavens itself!

Gilgamesh and Rin.

The most holy of unions. Of Heaven and Earth.

... Be you my husband, and I will be your wife..

...by my own god, by my own man…

..All mighty hands of kings and queens

..all that you touch will turn to gold..

**Glory to Babylonia! Glory to URUK!**"

Berserker almost smiled as Atalanta's jaw dropped to the floor- unable to form words. However it wasn't her lack of words that made him raise an eyebrow. Obviously Rin had used a gem from kid Gil as a catalyst. While all this was certainly...interesting- it wasn't completely out of the realm of possibility when you thought about it. After all, Gil had been more or less vocal in his blossoming feelings for the young Master. Though, for Berserker all this was definitely too flashy for his taste- even if it was all fake. He was not surprised as drums began in the distance signaling the approach of the young child king and his betrothed. Nor was he particularly surprised as Ishtar's signature crown glinted from Rin's head. No, he did not raise an eyebrow at that. What he did raise an eyebrow was the sudden appearance of the child king's other counterparts- the loud mouthed golden Archer and the Caster who was looking quite angry while the latter looked perplexed at best. He flashed a smirk at them before saying.

"Well that's different."

* * *

DUNDUNDUN...Oh kid Gil-

Chapters might be coming a bit slower!


	46. Shine

Some OOC(Imo- I think i stayed decently true to character?). Some leeway pls!

Stay safe out there!

* * *

The vein in his head _throbbed_ in anger.

The urge to blast everything in sight pulsed in his veins. Even if it was all some sort of illusion as hastily explained by Atalanta, it had taken all his strength just not to succumb to the impulse to destroy everything. A true testament to his endless generosity and splendor as the King of Heroes- if you asked him. And not at all due to the fact that kid Gil had somehow managed to catch him off guard. Such treachery in his younger counterpart.

_What disrespect that little twerp had!_

For his justified outrage to this farce had been so great that he did not notice the brats Chains of Heaven sneak up on him. Yes, that was the reason. Then subsequently, being tossed him to the outskirts of the city. But to be absolutely **CLEAR**, the King of Heroes did not get duped by **anyone**, much less a stupider and younger version of _himself_. Nope. Not at all. No, he had clearly _allowed_ himself to be removed. For even a imitation of his city deserved a sliver of mercy from annihilation. Which he was _obviously_ granting.

These were the words that ran through his mind as he flicked dust off his golden armor as Gilgamesh walked through the streets. The layout of the city had been as he remembered which wasn't surprising but it for some reason it made him even more angrier. He didn't stop the stream of curses and other profanity that left his mouth. His golden clad footsteps strode with familiarity. Even if it wasn't real- drawn from the minds of two incomplete children. Parts of it was felt; _almost_ real. As if he could touch it and it would be the place he once reigned over. But it wasn't. Everything was just a touch off. There was too many gaps. Too many things that didn't match up. Something akin to dejection but determinedly not, he noted there was a noticeable absence of divinity in the air. For any kingdom blessed by the grace of the gods had one. It made sense of course. The fact that it lacked it. Everything here was but a poor echo of a vast and glorious time.

After all, how could an _imitation_ ever live up to the _original_?

The audacity that stupid child had. What a waste of space. Such blasphemy that it made his blood boil. A rage he felt deep in his bones. He could not believe the sheer stupidity of all this. Why couldn't that stupid kid like someone respectable? Like his beautiful golden haired Saber. He'd even go as far to say Saber Lily was a much more compatible choice for his younger counterpart. A much more commendable choice- if you asked him.

What a JOKE.

The preposterous idea of any union of him and any version of that utterly useless goddess. Despite the fact that the merge made her much, much, infinitely times more bearable. What had the idiot bard said? _A child to share the heart of our beloved king till the promised day._ What utter foolishness. It did not matter what intentions kid Gil had. This was nothing short of treason. For Gilgamesh could not forgive her. Her fickleness. Her destruction. Her arrogance. The lies that dripped from her mouth like honey. How she loved him. Her one and true love. How honored he should be to receive her affection. Sprouting such madness for all to hear. What gall, this wench of the heavens had. To dare speak such words after all she had done. All she had **CAUSED**. But Gil had not experienced his pain- a voice whispered in the very back of his thoughts. Gil had not felt the loss that he and Caster had lived through. For they were very different versions of the same person. Summoned from very different points in their respective lives. And Gil clearly did not share the same opinions of his counterparts. Even in Chaldea, Gil did not choose to spend time with his older versions; much less Enkidu. Worse, Gil knew-that one day Ishtar would claim Rin has her vessel. Her host. And yet still madness prevailed. Gilgamesh shook his head at the duplicitous thoughts as he surveyed his surroundings.

Apparently his feet had brought him to _her_ temple. What a nuisance. Well as long as he was here, he could probably blow it up to make himself feel better. Making his way up the steps, he briefly took note that it was pretty much the same except all her acolytes were away. Clearly there were at the parade fawning over the annoying little ring leaders of all this. Gilgamesh scowled to himself at the mere thought of any version of himself placating himself like that. His radiance, his glory, his power. His frown turned into a scowl as he peered around the temple. The fires burned brightly. Carefully picked flowers aligned the walls, draped across the doorways. It was the same. Except it wasn't. For, in his time, had he stepped a foot within a mile of her temple, that useless goddess would have appeared to him. Clung to him. Pleaded to him. Flew around him as he walked. That utterly stupid face of hers would have gotten within mere inches of his and he would have been able to smell the unique mixture of divinity, flowers and fruit. In turn, he would have swatted her away. Laughing at her vain proclamations of love, her smugness, her sheer delusions of what love meant. Yes, he would have reminded her that she had no right to demand anything of him. She was a brat and would always be.

Tapping his foot impatiently, he looked around. Piles of glittering jewels were piled neatly behind a large alter. Of course no one would ever dare to touch much less _rob_ a temple in his kingdom. Much less the patron goddess of the city. In his time, such actions were met the heaviest penalty of all; death. While it was quite _obvious_, he was allowed taunt, tease and belittle that useless goddess at every advance; his people could _not_. They could not take her name in vain. They did not have the _right_. Though he would never ever admit it, he was was the only one worthy to speak to her in such a way. Ishtar was of the heavens- divine blood ran through her veins. The same that ran through his, but her's was pure and untainted- something she had endlessly teased him about.

Silently, he reached into his treasury and tossed a large jewel onto the alter.

And then he waited.

And waited.

And waited.

Nothing.

Nothing happened.

Absolutely _nothing_.

An unknown pang shot through his chest.

Anger mounting, he reached back into his treasury and threw fistfuls of jewels at the alter.

And waited.

And waited.

Nothing.

Was there **truly** nothing, _even here_, a place that was supposed to be deigned to be holy-in this charade? But what did he really expect? Gilgamesh knew all this wasn't real. Not enough to count. Just some deluded manifestation of two stupid brats. This temple did not hold any presence of peace, of devotion, of love, of lust. It's golden pillars did not radiate any semblance of power. It did not stand tall and proud like in the days of old.

No, this temple was _empty. _So very_ empty_. Again, a pang in his chest. There was a slow burning fire in his veins as he turned to leave and reconsidered the idea of blowing up the temple when _finally_...

"..Hail to the Golden King. Do you seek guidance from the Goddess of Love and War?" a voice reached his ears.

His lip curled in familiar snarl as he turned back sharply. He watched as the gems he had tossed haphazardly disappear, only to reappear stacked neatly behind the alter. Smugly he smiled, he crossed his arms and narrowed his eyes haughtily.

"OF COURSE. A useless goddess such as yourself would only appear for gems! Perhaps the boy did get one thing right." he said laughing loudly. "To be so **vain** and **petty**?"

Then the vision of Ishtar stood before him. But it was **not** the one from his memory. No, he had not seen her true visage in over a millennia. It was the merged version that resided in Chaldea- the _older_ version of the magus that stood there. But even that version had some fragments of the one he remembered, if only in her personality. Something akin to regret flashed briefly through him before he shoved it away, not wanting to consider what it meant. Those wide eyes, the color of currants blinked at his words. It seemed to consider him for a moment as if _confused_ before repeating in that same tone.

"..Hail to the Golden King. Do you seek guidance from the Goddess of Love and War?"

His smile dimmed as he peered more closely. Fake and empty. There was nothing in this one. Just a pathetic emanation. "Ishtar" continued to look at him with blank red eyes. There would be no outbursts from this one. No arguments, no nagging, no whining. Nothing at all. He rolled his shoulders in irritation as it waited for a response. Because he should have enjoyed it; the silence. The quiet. The indifference. Wasn't it what he had always wanted?

But...the only thing that came to mind was..

..What a **mockery** this **ghost** was.

* * *

Sorry, if I didn't capture the golden Archer well enough. I wanted to try but it wasn't easy. Could kid Gil really get the drop on Gilgamesh- who knows? That kid is full of surprises.

Hope I did okay- if the end is a bit abrupt, its because nothing I wrote after seemed right. *Shrugs*


End file.
